MTV, Get Off the Air!--Despite the Dead Kennedys shouting for them to go away for the last 21 years, as of Aug. 1, MTV will have been on the air for 25 years. So, in the spirit of the unsatiated desire of the Dead Kennedys, I’m compelled to start off by blurting out the clichéd affirmation that “MTV sucks.” Just go to mtv.com right now and see for yourself. It’s basically corporate radio in television form with an added bonus of obsessive celebrity worship. The station rarely plays music, but simultaneously has incredible influence on the music industry. But most of us know this already.
Office exercise for the desk-ridden white-collar worker
Hey, you frumpy slobs. You overweight, under-perfect nine to fivers. Yeah, we're talking to you, Dave, and you, too, Britney. It's time to finally do something about that ever-expanding gut, those unsightly thighs and that excess skin that pours out over those jeans you'd be well-advised not to wear.