Gus Pedrotty—Gus, as he likes to be known—stopped by Alibi Headquarters to discuss a bid for mayor that began as idealistic—and some would say unlikely—but has since been transformed into one of the more vital and remarkable candidacies that have passed through this high desert city in ages.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): This is an indelicate oracle. If you're offended by the mention of bodily functions in a prophetic context you should stop reading now. Still here? OK. I was walking through my neighborhood when I spied an older woman standing over her aged Yorkshire Terrier next to a bush. The dog was in discomfort, squatting and shivering but unable to relieve himself. "He's having trouble getting his business done," his owner confided in me. "He's been struggling for 10 minutes." I felt a rush of sympathy for the distressed creature. With a flourish of my hand, I said, "More power to you, little one. May you purge your burden." The dog instantly defecated. Shrieking her approval, the woman exclaimed, "It's like you waved a magic wand!" Now I am invoking my wizardry on your behalf, Aries, although in a less literal way: More power to you. May you purge your psychological burden.