Not Rock Stars
There seems to be some confusion. You guys are pop stars.
Rhianna is not missing only a black guitar. She is missing the experience of shitty gear and heavy amps, of being paid $50 for a show and feeling like it was a pretty good take.
A sample by actual badass Prince does not a rockstar make, Prima J.R. Kelly? Now we’re just being silly, right?
Not you either, Pink. You were just mad about your divorce. Although starting a fight is getitng warmer. As is working with Linda Perry.
And hey, energy drink, when’s the last time you went out of tune six times in a single show?
Because the d-bags in Nickelwack are not rock stars.
Maybe it’s the belt-buckle holding Poison?
So far there’s been a lot of talk of hot tubs and limos.
Did you all see the Ladies of the ’80s Barbies? Joan Jett, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper.
I propose a local band Barbie. She comes with a staple gun, a stack of handbills, a mega-heavy bag of pedals and cables, a soldering iron, and a beer in her jacket pocket.
At least we’ll always have Jem and the Holograms.