http://alibi.com/blog/37644/article.html
Timewaster

Old Sayings… Interrupted

Why buy the cow when… I wouldn’t marry that cow.

Don't look a gift horse in the… I can't believe you bought me a pony, Daddy!

A penny saved… My car broke down and I need to take the bus to my family or something.

A friend in need… I don't have a truck anymore.

A fool and his money… My car broke down and I need to take the bus to my family or something.

The apple doesn't fall far from the… horse’s ass at the Genius Bar.

A watched pot never… I think the cops are watching us.

Absence makes the heart… Call an ambulance!

Good things come to those who… Will you please get to the point?

All work and no play… Jack Black sucks.

Women: you can't live with them… She just found a really cute apartment.