“Project Runway” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) This show has been up and down since moving to Lifetime. Let’s see what the ninth season has in store for us, shall we?
“Iron Man”/“Wolverine” (G4 9 p.m.) G4 imports anime versions of Marvel’s most popular heroes straight out of Japan.
Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One (TCM 12 a.m.) This notoriously experimental docudrama from African-American filmmaker William Greaves was shot in 1968, but it didn’t see release until 2001. Greaves used three camera crews to film a documentary within a documentary within a documentary. In it, Greaves “plays” the part of an inept filmmaker auditioning student actors, eventually pushing them to the point of revolution. Think of it as a head-trippy precursor to today’s heavily manipulated reality show world.
“Help! I’m Becoming a Cat Lady!” (Animal Planet 5 p.m.) The first step is admitting it. The second step is cleaning out the litter boxes.
“Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding” (TLC 7 p.m.) Nick (Lachey) and Vanessa (Minnillo) try to escape the paparazzi and prepare for their dream wedding on a “secret” Caribbean island. So secret they made a reality show special out of it.
“The Lady With 700 Cats” (Nat Geo Wild 8 p.m.) Huh. She might want to have a chat with the cat-lady-in-training over on Animal Planet.
“American Ninja Warrior” (G4 7 p.m.) No American has ever won the Japanese endurance competition “Ninja Warrior” (or “Sasuke” as it’s known on the island of Nippon). But don’t feel too bad, Americans. Only three out of 2,600 competitors have ever actually completed the course. This year, though, Yanks have an extra incentive—a $500,000 endorsement deal from K-Swiss if they win!
“Great White Invasion” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Do I smell blood in the water, or is it time, once again, for Shark Week?
“Heidi Fleiss: Prostitutes to Parrots” (Animal Planet 8 p.m.) This has the potential to be even more interesting than Mike Tyson and his pigeons.
“The Bachelorette” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) ABC’s dating reality show wraps up its seventh season. I’m telling you, Casey Anthony is waiting in the wings for the opportunity.
“Take the Money and Run” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Or as it was known in childhood, hide-and-seek.
“Picker Sisters” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) It’s “American Pickers,” but, like, with women instead. Another triumph for the creative geniuses that are America’s television show producers. ... I tell you what, Hollywood, here’s $40 million worth of new reality show ideas for free from me to you: “Operation Repo,” but with women; one of those cake-baking shows, but set in Alaska; some show in which people have a bunch of kids; a series about people who hoard things, but with a different name than “Hoarders” or “Hoarding” and possibly utilizing the word “Extreme.”
“Truck Stop Missouri” (Travel 8 p.m.) If you’ve ever dreamed of vacationing at a truck stop in the “Show-Me State,” here’s your chance to live vicariously.