Two criminal masterminds were caught red-handed trying to steal refreshments and a toilet seat from a courthouse in southern Sweden. According to the Kristianstadsbladet newspaper, a 24-year-old woman and a 38-year-old man were spotted on a security camera attempting to break into a storage locker in the break room of a district courthouse in Kristianstad. The suspected thieves were stopped by police outside the courthouse. When searched, they were found to be carrying tea, coffee, sugar and a toilet seat. “It’s been said they had been at a hearing. They clearly thought what was said was crap,” said Mikael Persson of the Kristianstad police, expecting a rimshot to accompany his quote. The toilet-seat-snatchers are being held on suspicion of robbery and attempted robbery.
Have police in the U.K. given up trying to stop the infamous “Naked Rambler” from wandering the countryside in the buff? Stephen Gough, 53, was first arrested in 2003 when he walked across England wearing nothing more than boots, socks and a backpack. In 2005, on his second jaunt across the continent, he was arrested several more times. Scotland, which has much stricter nudity laws than the rest of the United Kingdom, busted him a total of 20 times. That includes several contempt of court charges in which he refused to appear before a judge with clothing on. In 2006, he spent six months in jail for removing his clothes during a flight to Edinburgh. In 2008, he was jailed for 12 months for breach of the peace. Upon his release in 2009, he walked out of the prison and promptly doffed his clothing, which led to his re-arrest. Since then, Gough has been released and immediately re-arrested at the gates of Perth Prison several times. On July 17, Gough was released once again. This time, however, prison officials turned the other cheek and allowed him to walk off into the sunset naked. “My opinion,” Gough told the BBC, “is that the police have thought, ‘The guy’s not going to give up so let’s have a think about it.’ Something has changed and it is good news for me. It’s nice to be standing here feeling the breeze.” Following his release, Gough started hiking back to his home in Eastleigh, Hants—in the nude, of course—in hopes of reuniting with his family. “My children are teenagers now, so I expect they are embarrassed by me. If I was them and my dad was walking around naked, I suppose I would be embarrassed,” said Gough. Scottish police had agreed to let Gough continue his journey, so long as they received no serious complaints. Gough made it all of 26 miles, to the town of Toenhill in Swansea, before he was arrested again for breach of peace.
Apparently, Tonya Fowler didn’t like the unflattering mug shot police took of her, so she called 911 to complain about it. Barrow County News reports that Fowler spotted her face in the Georgia-based Bad & Busted weekly mug shot newspaper. The 45-year-old contacted 911 and “was upset about how she looked on the front page of the Bad & Busted printing.” In a report on the incident, the Winder Police Department officer who took her call went on to say, “I informed Ms. Fowler to contact 911 for emergencies, injuries or violence.” In the end, Fowler got her wish. She was arrested again for unlawful use of 911 and disorderly conduct, and was given a brand-new mug shot.
It works for Republicans: When in doubt, blame President Obama. A Rochester man, arrested on July 27 for inappropriately fondling children’s feet at the Penfield public library, says he’s being set up by Barack Obama. Anthony Parri, 49, was arraigned on two felony charges of sex abuse and endangering the welfare of a child. According to court documents obtained by WHAM-13 TV, Parri removed a child’s shoe, fondled her foot and rubbed it up against his nose and mouth for the purposes of sexual gratification. The child’s mother and an employee both witnessed the alleged action and called police. A second 6-year-old also came forward to tell authorities Parri touched her feet. Parri pleaded not guilty in court, claiming the allegations against him were part of a vast political conspiracy. “I’m being set up by the President Barack Obama and the city and federal government,” he told WHAM outside court on July 18. Bookstores and libraries in neighboring communities have reported five other cases in which a man approached girls between the ages of 5 and 10 and tried to lick their feet. Police are investigating whether Parri is linked to those incidents.