Best Haiku About Albuquerque:
Santa Fe's a wife who cheats,
You're an honest whore.
—Amy Dixon, 1999
• The Alibi holds its first Crawl, shutting down Central and filling Downtown’s stages with nearly 70 bands, including: Red Earth, Giant Steps, Atomic Love Medicine, Kimo, Ben Hathorne, Fatso, Stoic Frame and Alpha Blue. We also run a special comics issue, in which the paper’s usual content is turned into comic strips. The “Six Degrees of Luke Skywalker” Summer Film Guide connects every movie in the feature to Mark Hamill. Gwyneth Doland is hired as food editor, ushering in an era of pork love and Atkins Diet abhorrence.
Best Public Park: Roosevelt
Best Scam to Avoid Paying Cover: “I’m from the Alibi.”
Best Actor to Play Gary Johnson in the Made-For-TV Movie of His Life: Don Johnson
Best Local Writer: Richard Currey
• President Clinton is acquitted by the Senate, thus escaping full impeachment from office.
• An investigation is launched into fired Los Alamos National Labs scientist Wen Ho Lee. He’s suspected of passing nuclear secrets to Taiwan.
• Two seniors at Columbine High School in Colorado commit the deadliest school shooting in U.S history.
• People freak the fuck out about the theoretical Y2K computer glitch wreaking havoc on the world as we know it. Midnight comes and goes without incident.
• Andy and Larry (now Lana) Wachowski blow our minds with The Matrix. As a byproduct, they briefly make Keanu Reeves cool. Following this groundbreaking hit, every action hero in Hollywood is forced to dress in wet-look black leather. (See for reference: Underworld.)
• The Blair Witch Project shocks audiences for the first time. The $60,000 film goes on to earn more than $140 million, making it the most profitable film (based on budget) in the history of cinema.
• M. Night Shyamalan’s mystery chiller The Sixth Sense gives birth to the term “spoiler alert.”