"I Saw You" at the Wrong Birthday Party
Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?
I was at the wrong party, but everyone was lovely. It was your birthday. Your friend told me to give you my phone number, but when I left you were surrounded with affection and I felt shy. If you wanted my number, find me.
You, clueless, reckless MORON on a bicycle turning in front of me just as I was turning right with my signal on for a while, 10/23 at 7:15pm. I realize you MORONS think that traffic rules don't apply to you, and you think they apply to motor vehicle drivers only. Next time you do that, I hope you won't be so lucky and the driver won't stop in time. You shouldn't be allowed to propagate your low IQ DNA. Want to be treated like a pedestrian? Walk! Like a vehicle? Follow the rules of the road!
You were getting ready to leave for bootcamp. My insecurities couldn't keep me from seeing you one more time. I tried to look my best for you. You always said none of that matters. We missed our movie, my shoe broke, we went the wrong way on a one way, and a car almost hit us. I can honestly say, I never smiled so much! I don't know how to say how I feel. Just know, I've always wanted you, and only you, since I laid my eyes on you. Spend New Year’s with me—let's rent a cabin and lose ourselves.
You, angelic, pleasantly plump blond woman on exercise bicycle. Me, man with superhero sense of smell on the rowing machine next to you. Your scent taunts me. I don't see a ring on your finger. You looked at me several times and smiled that innocent-little-girl-next-door-who-knows-I'm-making-him-crazy smile. You appealed to my baser nature, but I mate for life. You know what I look like, now see how evolved this Man, in the noblest sense of the word, is. I could drink a case of you.