The Daily Word in banana capers, devil babies and standing your ground
The NSA is still watching you masturbate/plot terrorist attacks/play minesweeper, even if your computer is offline.
In the far future, you will tell your children that January 15, 2014 was the day you first heard of the Great Banana Caper.
Life-sized robot baby teaches innocent passersby that children are evil and should never be approached, no matter how pathetically they cry.
More proof that children are evil: Nasty notes from the under-10 set. "Sorry because of nothing."
The attorney representing a former police officer who shot and killed a man for texting in a movie theater is arguing that the shooter was actually a victim in fear for his life. Because the other man threw popcorn at him.
Neutral Milk Hotel will be stopping by Albuquerque in April.
And finally, the world is dark and depressing and our hearts go out to the children of Roswell.