The Truth About Santa

An apocalyptic holiday tale.

Santa Claus is tired of the lies. Like the gods of old, he, too, has his mortal mistresses. This Christmas Eve he will bring Mary, his favorite earthly consort, and Luke and Freya, their illegitimate, semi-divine children, back to his North Pole compound to live with him—forever! Not surprisingly, Mrs. Claus resists. First she withholds Santa's beloved Divinity. Then she tries to poison Mary and the children with some delicious candy-wine. And as the singing elf-slaves Jo-Jo and Jim-Jim, and Mary's drunkard husband, George, are drawn into the marital mêlée, all hell—quite literally—breaks loose.