Sep 8 - 14, 2005 
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Feature

Best Haiku Using the Most Letters of the Alphabet

By Steven Robert Allen

We got a lot of variations on the old "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs" chestnut from high school typing class. Good golly, you people are lazy. Come on—this is a literary contest. We're looking for some freakin' originality, people. Leslie Rottach's haiku packed the most punch. (I think I'm going to rename my band Expunge the Jackal.) She wins a $40 certificate to the District and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
Vote counts fade from view
Zoos require mob rule they say
Expunge the jackal!
—Leslie Rottach

Honorable Mentions
Tchaikovsky zeppelin
Black xylophone quail jumper
A raw Dresden fugue
—Randy Stogsdill and Abby Dozier

Jacques' xylophone shack.
Crazy markdowns! Free french fries.
Save big at "Le Shack."
—Sue McGilpin

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