With so much worrisome activity in the world today, it's getting harder and harder to determine what's merely a source of concern and what's really worth worrying about. Stop waffling over your worries: Let the Alibi Worry Wheel take all the guesswork out of fretting. From the apocalypse to pinkeye, we've got 32 of your favorite neurotic obsessions in one convenient little spinner. Keep one at home, in the car and at the office—you'll never be far from something to worry about!
Cut out the Worry Wheel. Glue the wheel to a piece of cardboard and trim the cardboard to fit. To make the spinner, use a pushpin to anchor a bobby pin or open safety pin to the center of each wheel. Now spin your way to a worry-filled day! Just whatever you do, don't give yourself a paper cut. It may become infected, which could lead to gangrene and eventually the amputation of your finger, hand or arm. And when was the last time you had a tetanus shot? I hope it was very recently, because you know how those pointy little pins are. "Safety," my ass! In fact, this entire paper is probably crawling with microscopic vermin. You'd better go wash your hands.