The Spirit of Getting
Step-by-step instructions on where to buy the perfect gift for your favorite Alibi staff member(s)
By Steven Robert Allen
People always make such a big stink about how important it is to focus on the wants and needs of others during the Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, pagan-winter-solstice season. We at the Alibi are tired of this stale approach to the holidays. The way we see it, we're generous and giving the rest of the year. Now it's payback time. In other words, instead of focusing on buying gifts for others, this year we've decided to focus entirely on assisting others in buying desirable gifts for us.
What follows is a handy gift guide detailing where and how to buy the ideal gift for the Alibi staff member(s) you most idolize. We've been there for you all year long. Now it's time for you to show a little freakin' appreciation for all our hard work.
The reason we've compiled this list is because we think the old cliché about how "it's the thought that counts" is just so much freeze-dried hooey. If you really want to show you care—and you know you do, otherwise why would you be reading this?—this list will help you avoid disappointing us.
Of course, we realize there are probably one or two other people ranked lower down on your holiday shopping list. If you can squeeze in the time, you'll probably want to pick up something for them, too. That's where the secondary purpose of this guide comes in. We hope this might give you a couple ideas on where to buy something for friends and family members who, although lesser priorities than your beloved Alibi staff members, are still of some importance in your lives.
All Alibi gifts should be sent to 2118 Central SE, #151, Albuquerque, N.M. 87106, care of the Alibi staff member you'd most like to impress.
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