Alibi V.14 No.48 • Dec 1-7, 2005 

Feature

Are You a Loser?

Yes! But maybe no.

Do you game?

If you do game, do you have a Level 60 Night Elf Mage?

Are sweats your "uniform”?

Do you juggle or practice magic?

Do you Do the Dew?

Do you believe in fairies or unicorns?

Do you answer to a self-given nickname like Vinnie the Torch?

Do you snicker to yourself and nod your head knowingly when the clock strikes 4:20?

Do you hope to one day, maybe, open a head shop?

Do you begin sentences with "back in the clink"?

Is one of your hobbies cats?

Are you into "mysticism"?

Is your band's international success your only life ambition?

Do your journal entries typically read "Dear Diary ... oh, you wouldn't understand"?

Have you tried the new chicken fries?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, then you might as well start working for a corporate fast-food chain. Unless you already do.