Sex, Toys and Videotapes
Your Valentine's Day guide to a night—nay, a lifetime—of merriment
By Christie Chisholm
Sex. What? Don't look at me like that—you know you're thinking it, too. Valentine's Day is around the corner, and the last thing you want or need is tips on where to get chocolate and flowers. You know that part. Not to say that you don't know anything about sex, but it is a far more interesting affair after all, isn't it? We think so, too. So our gift to you this lovelorn holiday season (or lustlorn, as the case may be), won't be on the best spots to propose or the best deals on spas—you can invariably get that advice from a million other places—rather, we're going to deal with the down and dirty. Mainly, we're talking sex toys, along with a few other accoutrements. If you're shocked, disturbed, curious or comfortable, stick around. You just might learn a thing or two.
There are several breeds of people in the world when it comes to sex toys. There are the puritans, the folks who are so offended by the very pairing of the words sex and toy that they're probably not reading this, or they're writing a letter to the editor as we speak. There are the slightly uncomfortable, who don't really have anything against sex toys but don't really like the idea of them and have no desire to try one out. There are the curious, who have certainly never tried one but who would maybe like to and don't know where to begin. Then, of course, there are the experienced, who've dabbled in sex toys but could still learn a thing or two. And then there's the old pros, who might be bored stiff (no pun intended) by this guide and who could probably teach us a few tricks.
No matter which category you fall into, we urge you to try something new this year. Try moving up a rung (except for the super freaks who would simply fall off the ladder if they reached any higher). Play with your comfort level. Just remember to ease into it, and make damn sure that anyone you're using a toy with is as into it as you are.
One last note: This guide focuses mainly on women, and entirely on being classy. If you're looking for some hard-core, raunchy stuff, that's cool, it's your thing, but go elsewhere. You won't find much of it here. With that said, let the games begin.
NEWSLETTERS Great Alibi stories, events and deals delivered to your inbox each week. No fooling!
Petroglyph Pláticas: Revolution, Renaissance and Transformation at Oñate Monument and Visitors Center
Sharman Russell speaks about the new world of citizen science.
Miss Massive Snowflake • indie, progressive pop, experimental at Zinc Wine Bar & Bistro
Twelfth Night: Ducdame Ensemble at Meow WolfMore Recommended Events ››