V-Day is Upon Us!
The winners of the Alibi's Third Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest
By Steven Robert Allen
When I was a wee lad in elementary school, teachers used to force us to celebrate Valentine's Day by taping obnoxious handmade construction paper pouches to the backs of our itty-bitty kiddy seats. Come V-Day, kids would pop cheapo 3 x 5 inch cards into everyone else's pouch. This yearly ritual wasn't so much an expression of love as it was an annoying obligation enforced at gunpoint.
I'm an adult now, though—physically at least, if not mentally—and as I've matured I've learned to embrace Valentine's Day's romantic scope. With that in mind, we present our Valentine's Day Card Contest, an annual outpouring of love possessed of such excruciating warmth and honest emotion that it'll make Donald Rumsfeld himself curl into a fetal position and bawl like a little baby.
Our judging panel was larger than usual this year. I'd like to thank Christie Chisholm, Laura Marrich, Jessica Cassyle Carr, Amy Dalness, Tom Nayder, Paul Sessa and Jeff Drew for all adding their two cents. We fought, we screamed, we bickered, we whined, but eventually I think we achieved fair and honorable results.
I'd also like to shower gratitude and praise on this year's fabulous sponsors. Martha's Body Bueno recently moved to a new location at 3901 Central NE (255-1122), and the larger location allows them to serve their customers even better. Service, as always, is friendly and accessible, and the selection of sensual and erotic merchandise is some of the best in town. As most of you already know, Tiger Lily (2318 Central SE, 232-8820), located directly across from UNM, is the jungle goddess of divine flower arranging. Likewise, the Duke City's extraordinary chocolatier Theobroma (319 Central NW, 247-0848; 12611 Montgomery NE, #A5, 293-6545) is one of the very best places in town to get your theobromine fix. (That's the chemical in chocolate that fills you with blissful euphoria.) You should patronize all of these fine local establishments, not just during this Valentine's season, but all year round.
Now, on to the cards, Cupid!
Our lady judges especially loved this card, and they eventually swayed we spineless gent judges to adopt their way of thinking. Good thing they did, too. Alyssa Russo's Valentine's Day Card is the real deal. Every element is handmade, and the drawing and narrative are charming as all get out. Bottom line: This is the kind of card that could actually make a love interest swooon. (That's right, three o's—that's how fine this card is.) For her spectacular creation, Russo will receive a romantic gift basket from the love wizards over at Martha's Body Bueno.
Lordy, Suzanne Martin must have the patience of a saint. You really have to see this thing in person to appreciate its astonishing intricacy. Martin apparently cut out a bazillion little colored squares and mounted them on a piece of black paper to concoct this fetching image of two doves smoochin'. Sweet work, sister. For her efforts, she'll receive a sexy Valentine's basket with flower arrangement from Tiger Lily to send to the lover of her choice.
I personally had to fight hard to maneuver this humble little card into third place. Wasn't easy, folks. Scrawled on a hastily cut-out and folded piece of plain white paper, this card might not exhibit the same level of craftsmanship as other cards in the competition, yet the sad torn-up teddy bear with stuffing bursting out its ripped seams addresses an aspect of Valentine's Day that most of us have experienced at one time or another. You aren't alone in being alone, Steven A. Leggett. Don't lose heart. To console you, Theobroma is presenting you with one of their patented 1-pound Valentine's assortment packages. Here's hoping you'll find someone to split it with before the big day.
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