Alibi V.15 No.46 • Nov 16-22, 2006 


The White Elephant Shopper

Holland Hill's Copper Ivy Hanger, $31.95

Wild Bird Center
10700 Corrales NW

Give this decorative hummingbird playground to the guy from sales who always complains about his wife's obsession with her flower garden. His constant rumbling will become less about the frickin' garden and more about how she won't shut up about the beautiful Ivy Hanger and the hummingbirds. Pure bliss.

Self-Shaking Salt and Pepper, $9.95

Talin Market
230 Louisiana SE

These “Movers & Shakers” from pop designer Fred come in lots of bold colors. They're also equipped with tiny motors: Pull the strings and the shakers vibrate on their own, saving you oh-so-much effort. Aside from all the great grocery items from around the world, Talin has an overflowing area of kitchen knick-knacks, most of which have questionable usage, but infinite gift-giving possibility.

Bacon Strip or Ninja Strip Bandages, $5 for a box of 15

Free Radicals
2215 Lead SE

It's hard to go wrong with this gift. It really is. Who doesn't love the look of bacon? All blood-red, pink meat and chunky white fat, it's the perfect covering for any wound. Furthermore, for those friends or coworkers who follow the path of the ninja, aid them in sheltering their scrapes and bruises with an image that reflects their inner being. Though we suppose if they have wounds, they're probably not very good ninjas.

Punk-U-Pine Scrubber, $9.95

Now We’re Cooking
5901 Wyoming NE, Suite S

You could buy a white elephant gift; or you could buy a red porcupine. This ridiculous scrubber, jammed with some of the steeliest bristles we’ve ever seen, is adorable. Now We’re Cooking just expanded, more than doubling their space, which means there’s even more top-of-the-line cooking equipment for us to molest.

Yaktrax Pro, $27.95

Sportz Outdoor
6915 Montgomery NE

This is one of those strange little gifts that might take a few minutes to figure out. Yaktrax Pro, though, is a product that makes a ton of sense. You can easily slip them over most ordinary shoes to prevent slippin' and slidin' on icy surfaces. (Nobody wants a cracked tailbone.) Sportz Outdoor, a locally owned operation, has tons of more obvious gifts as well, including bicycles, snowboards, outdoor clothing and sunglasses.

The Faucet Light, $14.95

8001 Wyoming NE, Suite D-3

This gift is so incredibly ridiculous, you have to love it. Just attach it to any sink faucet, put in some batteries (lucky for you, they're included) and turn the water on: The stream will glow neon blue! Confuse the drunk, amuse the kids. The Faucet Light is an entertaining addition to any sink.