  |  FeatureStaging a KuOur 16th annual Haiku ContestIn the spirit of the ancient and noble art of haiku, I'll keep this intro brief:Haiku were many Selection was challenging Reward is endless Domo arigato to all who participated and to my fellow judges (Nick Brown, Jessica Cassyle Carr, Christie Chisholm, Marisa Demarco, Laura Marrich, Simon McCormack and Jesse Schulz). Word to our prize sponsors: Guerrilla Graphix, Tucanos Brazilian Grill, Central Park Hair Studio, Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, JC’s NYPD, Gold Street Caffè, Hinkle Family Fun Center, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and Burning Paradise Video. All winners may pick up their prizes from the Alibi offices (413 Central NW) during business hours (9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday). Let the ku coup commence. Best Traditional HaikuJune bugs fly drunken and lie down with faint crickets in Late August grave —Victoria Rodrigues When it came to painting colorful visions of natural wonder—as classic haiku does so well—Victoria Rodrigues' image of June bugs and summer's end dominated the judges' senses. For this accomplishment, she receives a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Best Haiku About "The Q"Never heard of it Could you point me to this "Q"? Yo soy de Burque —Victoria Rodrigues It should be noted that the authors' names were omitted during the final selection process so we could offer the most unbiased judgment possible. Thus, Victoria Rodrigues’ second win in this competition (see “Best Traditional Haiku”) was a surprise to us all, but the quality of her "Q" haiku was not. Rodrigues nabs a $25 gift certificate to JC's NYPD, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Best Haiku About CaffeineHas lit up more eyes than Edison's bright lightbulb and caused more lost sleep —Larry Elmore Just reading all these highly caffeinated haiku gave us the jitters. Larry Elmore's well-crafted 17 syllables topped the judges' lists for its accusatory approach to the subject. Elmore can get his caffeine fix with a $10 gift certificate to Gold Street Caffè, a $10 voucher good at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (bearer of coffee's best friend), a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Most Mysterious HaikuOutside the window I found two pieces of corn, And they were buttered —Will Geusz, AHS This category posed some conceptual problems for many entrants. Some even wrote about how impossible it is to write a "mysterious" haiku. But Will Geusz got it. Buttered corn? Nice. His prize package includes a $10 gift certificate to Hinkle Family Fun Center, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder, a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge and a possibly expired (it’s a mystery!) certificate for membership at Burning Paradise Video. Best Haiku About BurquewoodHoping that guard dogs and burnt Hummer carcasses are part of the set —Andrea Greenlee Downtown Albuquerque has appeared downright apocalyptic at times. Andrea Greenlee's tiny poem captured the very essence of Burquewood as viewed from outside the biz. She gets a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, a $10 certificate good at Gold Street Caffè (for rubbing elbows with industry peeps), an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Best Haiku About SuperpowersWouldn't it be nice to melt your enemy's face right off their fat head? —Laz Romankiw, AHS Yes. Yes, it would! The judges couldn't count the number of times on all our fingers and toes we've wished for that same super-ability. If you figure out how to do it, Laz Romankiw, please teach us. Until then, enjoy a voucher for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder, a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge and $20 good at Hinkle Family Fun Center (for superpower practice). Best Haiku About RectanglesI run my hands down your long side, always equal corners turn me on —Andrew Kolberg, AHS Andrew Kolberg took geometry into the realm of passion with his haiku about everyone's favorite wannabe square. In return, Kolberg receives a $25 gift certificate to JC's NYPD, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Best Haiku About How You Spent Your Stimulus CheckKite, shank, shoelaces A life-size C-3PO Porcelain penguin —Bridgette McMahon and Kurt Johnson Many, many (so many) of the haiku entries in this category had something to do with a tank of gas. Some were great (see "Ku Continued"), but Bridgette McMahon and Kurt Johnson’s shopping list spoke to the impulse spender in us all. They get to divvy up a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, two $10 gift certificates to Central Park Hair Studio (a haircut for each), $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Best Haiku About PooFelt I needed a tremendous defecation when we were flirting —Andrew Fabry Hats off to everyone who submitted a poo ku. Your bravery in taking on toilet poetry is craptastic. But in the end, Andrew Fabry takes the big one—the title of best haiku about shit. He gets a $20 gift certificate to Tucanos Brazilian Grill, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder, a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge and a bonus $10 gift card to Hinkle Family Fun Center. Best Miscellaneous HaikuI am in love with my dentist’s receptionist. I have stopped brushing. —Frank Calabretta This was, by far, the toughest category to judge. It was Frank Calabretta's anecdote about a secret love that finally ran away with our hearts. He makes off with a (miscellaneous) prize pack including a $25 gift certificate to JC's NYPD, an inflatable Margaritaville pool toy (we think) from Nick Brown's floor, a voucher good for one T-shirt at Guerrilla Graphix, four soy sauce packets, a $10 gift certificate to Central Park Hair Studio, a zombie bumper sticker from Burning Paradise Video, $10 in eats at Taj Palace Indian Restaurant, an Alibi toothpick holder and a commemorative 2007 Fall Crawl VIP badge. Ku ContinuedMore Haiku to Feed a RevolutionTraditional Nature is urban As light posts became the sun We become machines. —Carolina Gomez, AHS Twenty birds eating Sudden sound breaks the silence Swift rain in reverse —Julia Mace Sparrow's crusty bread, stale and hard as intended, waits for the next bird —Chris Jacobsen February moon is long in the winter sky— stars shiver and fade —Kathryne Lim Two birds call greetings from across a distant field wonder how you are —Adele Dunne mountain sides afire gold crowns beneath azure sky welcoming the cold —Morgan Matthew, AHS "The Q" Who is this Duke guy? Better than Earl of Sandwich But less tasty name —Joshua Wilson Burque por vida Who wants to call it "The Q"? Only the mayor —Michael Green At dawn bright valley At dusk soft pink Sandias Between I survive —Anthony Masi Haiku's in "The Q" each year in the Alibi Win Don Schrader's pants! —Dan Otero "Q" helps with homework, washes dishes, takes out trash What a "friendly" god —Richard Wolfson Caffeine I drank a Red Bull Energy filled my body Now I have cancer —Will Geusz, AHS After five coffees, I'm thinking this must be the Best haiku ever!!!! —Richard Fye Caffeinated drinks Aren't really my cup of tea Ha ha, tea ... get it? —Emily Schmeltzer Twitching as I write, Six Mountain Dews or seven, Did you hear that noise? —Rich Groot Jittery. Sweaty. Still paying off my latte Goddamn you, Starbucks! —Joshua Wilson Mysterious Wee plastic ninja Master of hide and go seek Bow to the remote —Rich Groot telephone pole sits paved road emanating heat crow laughs silently —David Bowes A walk at midnight Frigid fingers trace my back; Gone without a scream. —Hannah Brown I've keratosis, Coitus interruptosis, And halitosis. —Kevin WetSpot Burquewood I want to be more than "drunk girl number thirteen" in life's end credits —Andrea Greenlee Worked on three movies. It was great, food, pretty girls. I saw a nipple. —Richard Chong Jessica Alba Can't find good food in Burque Better go home then —Bennigna Rivera extras sit with hope in little room with peanuts they don't care bout you —David Bowes Lights? flashing marquee Camera? captures image Action? "Cops," Burque. —Stephen Welford, AHS Superpowers Tired of glasses? Radioactive spiders. That's all I'm saying. —Tahemet Allegra X-ray vision fails. I see through the dress, but I see through the boobs, too. —Jason Zsemlye By superpowers Do you mean, like, huge countries? Or amazing skills —Joshua Wilson Oil and blood in mud, a mix of cultural cud a dollar above —Chris Jacobsen Rectangles Ships navigate through the Bermuda Rectangle without incident. —Sue McGilpin, Calif. Quadrilateral Riemann integral limit Parallelogram —Trevor Turbov, AHS It’s impossible To write a poem that does Rectangles justice —Barak Freedman, AHS Call me four sided disdain my right angles, but it beats being square —Larry Elmore Stimulus Check Paying off Visa, Burger I ate long ago, Would eat you again —Rich Groot Handheld massager Fed Ex'd from Copenhagen. Stimulus package. —Sue McGilpin, Calif. Backyard drink-a-thon tiki torches two for four rent is a bit late —Andrea Greenlee With my stimulus, I bought a half tank of gas, and well, that was it. —Lydia Fernandes Get stimulus check Deposit in Swiss account Don't tell anyone —Dan Otero Poo Ku This must not be too obvious or lowbrow—corn! Shit, I just said corn. —Jason Zsemlye Beware of skid marks If you tend to rub your ass Against your fabrics —Bridgette McMahon Brown islands spinning a yellow ocean rinses away evidence —Gail Donnelly elegant nugget symbol of profound relief this one's a keeper —Aaron Lowe Olympic hopeful In Beaver, Oklahoma Tosses a cow chip —Marie Oberle, Minn. Miscellaneous beautiful is she with an ass like an onion so sweet makes me cry —David Bowes Don't leave your handprints in my wet cement, just mine I want no regrets. —Madeline Alfero Neglected peach tree In the neighbor’s front driveway Think I’ll help myself —Julia Mace Welcome to space ice May I take your order please? Yes, one scoop of Mars —Paula Singleton, Texas Your voice is like hot cocoa, rich and warm with those tiny marshmallows. —Peter Cornelius, AHS I don't want to make the last line five. I really want to make it six. —Cody Marquez, HHS Holla hu-holla! What’s good, what’s good-what’s good, what’s Goood! Get atcha gurrrl. —Kimberly Carter, AHS Can't wait ’til Thursday Waiting, anticipating Weekly Alibi —Michael Green Tune into “Afternoon Freeform” hosted by Travis Parkin on KUNM 89.9 FM from 1:30 to 4 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 11, to hear readings from this and past Alibi haiku contests. Inspired to haiku? Add your ad hoc ku content to this article by posting a comment below. Public Comments (7)
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