Alibi V.17 No.51 • Dec 18-24, 2008 

Feature

Trout on Trout

The subject of our “Draw the Head on the TJ Trout” sweepstakes analyzes the entries

Among the clicking of typewriters, the bustle of newspeople with transatlantic accents and the hum of our very large and impressive printing press, here at Alibi headquarters we know just as well as anyone that media is serious business. On the other hand, it doesn't take seeing our articles wrapped around a fish carcass for us to also know the media deserves ridicule. Try as we might, constantly deprecating ourselves would verge on masochism, so it's all we can do to mock others and hope they return the favor some day.

For the past two years as a part of November's Quiz and Puzzle Issue, we've held artistic competitions based on the anatomy of New Mexico media figures. Last year we requested that readers draw the body on the Dick Knipfing. This year, the instructions were to draw the head on the TJ Trout.

As entries piled on my desk and buried my novelty squeeze toy, one member of our editorial team suggested I ask the 94 Rock radio character to open this exciting mail with me and critique the depictions of his effigy. Luckily, he agreed. Last week I got in my gyrocopter and flew up to Trout's rockin’ lair at Clear Channel, where we considered the fine art printed at right. Together, between Foghat-inspired air guitar breaks, we chose a winner, and god dang, it was a tough decision. Read on for Trout's analysis.

 "Nice. ‘I heart you.’ Wow. What's the background, man?"
"Nice. ‘I heart you.’ Wow. What's the background, man?"
Alex Brittenham
"I swear to God, I hope his kid wrote this ... I was right: ‘age five.’ Attie definitly did the artwork."
"I swear to God, I hope his kid wrote this ... I was right: ‘age five.’ Attie definitly did the artwork."
Attie Peknik
"I like that one. That's good because I always say that. Is that a watermelon head? It is, isn't it? That kinda casts me pretty well, though—giant vacuous melonhead—that's about right."
"I like that one. That's good because I always say that. Is that a watermelon head? It is, isn't it? That kinda casts me pretty well, though—giant vacuous melonhead—that's about right."
Joshua R. Torres
"It's phallic, yet it's obscenely bizarre."
"It's phallic, yet it's obscenely bizarre."
Kristin Cario
"What the hell is that? Apparently you guys have me smoking a cigar with weed in it?”
"What the hell is that? Apparently you guys have me smoking a cigar with weed in it?”
Mark Woody
"Oh shoot, they took that right out of one of our postcards. No points for originality."
"Oh shoot, they took that right out of one of our postcards. No points for originality."
Ruddell Laconsello
"There had to be one penis reference. That's pretty artsy, though."
"There had to be one penis reference. That's pretty artsy, though."
Samuel Clarke