Hollywood has gotten to the point where it’s making more 3D films than there are 3D screens available. (Witness the recent multiplex traffic jam that was How to Train Your Dragon, Clash of the Titans and the last lingering shreds of Avatar). As a result, theater chains are rushing to install more digital projectors and more special 3D screens in order to show as many of these cash cows as possible. Starting with Shrek Forever After (which opened last week in theaters), summer 2010 will see a steady lineup of movies released in not two but three whole dimensions. In addition to all the 3D wonders awaiting us at the movie theater this summer, there are a bunch of films being released in boring old 2D. As a service to our binocular readers, we’ve separated the wheat from the chaff.
Sure, we’re giving you the skinny on each and every film hitting theaters between Memorial Day and Labor Day—but we’re also providing you with a patented, easy-to-read symbol which tells you which films you’ll be able to ogle in 3D! So start saving your money (here in Albuquerque, 3D movies cost $3.50 more than their flat brethren). And remember: All opening dates are subject to change.
Sex and the City 2 The shoe-loving, sex-having TV gals go on a girlie vacation to the Middle East, exchanging the titular city of New York for Abu Dhabi—a place that probably wouldn't look too favorably on their whorish, materialistic ways in real life. Does Prada even make a burqa? [Read Devin’s full review of Sex in the City 2 here.]
Micmacs French fantasist Jean-Pierre Juenet (Delicatessen, The City of Lost Children, Amélie) created this tale of some freaky, junkyard-dwelling misfits who conspire to bring down a weapons manufacturer.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Jake Gyllenhaal adopts a British accent to sound more, um ... Persian in this adaptation of the hit video game about a Parkour-jumping prince trying to rescue a cute princess (Gemma Arterton) from some evil dude (Ben Kingsley) with the help of a magical dagger.
Get Him to the Greek In this semi-sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Russell Brand revives his self-absorbed rock star character of Aldous Snow. Jonah Hill (Knocked Up, Superbad) is the lowly record company intern tasked with escorting the easily distracted singer to a concert in L.A.
Killers An ordinary gal (Katherine Heigl) meets, falls in love with and marries a nice dude who turns out to be a top-secret government superspy (Ashton Kutcher). Unfortunately, once the honeymoon is over, all sorts of international assassins show up on their suburban doorstep trying to murder the happy couple.
Marmaduke If you have a recommended daily allowance of wacky talking animals in sunglasses, this CGI-heavy comedy should fill the gap between Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel and Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. Though it should be pointed out that Marmaduke doesn't even talk in the stupid comic strip.
Ondine Irish auteur Neil Jordan (Mona Lisa, The Crying Game) spins the story of a hunky fisherman (Colin Farrell) who discovers a sexy mermaid (bewitching Alicja Bachleda) in his net. Ondine’s another word for mermaid, by the way.
Splice Freely splicing together It's Alive and Species, this sci-fi horror flick has a couple of rebellious scientists (Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley) mixing human and animal DNA to create a dangerous chimera baby that grows up quickly into a sex-crazed killing machine.
The A-Team The ’80s-fave TV show gets a big-screen remake with Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Rampage Jackson taking over as Hannibal, Faceman, Howling Mad Murdock and B.A. Baracus.
The Karate Kid The ’80s flashback continues with Will Smith’s kid stepping into Ralph Macchio’s karate gi and Jackie Chan taking over for Pat Morita.
Winter’s Bone A tough Ozark Mountain girl (Jennifer Lawrence from “The Bill Engvall Show”) cuts her way through dangerous social territory hunting down her drug-dealing father while trying to keep her family intact.
I Am Love This tragic period love story, featuring Tilda Swinton, follows the fall of the “haute bourgeoisie” due to the forces of unrestrained passion in turn-of-the-20th-century Milan.
Jonah Hex The obscure DC comic book about a hideously scarred bounty hunter (Josh Brolin) shooting holes in the forces of evil in the post-Civil War Wild West gets the action movie treatment courtesy of writers Neveldine & Taylor (Crank, Gamer).
Toy Story 3 Pixar Animation’s first big success returns with Woody, Buzz and the rest of the toy box gang dumped unceremoniously at a day care after now-grown owner Andy departs for college.
Grown Ups Star Adam Sandler penned this comedy about a group of high school pals reunited over the Fourth of July holiday after their beloved varsity basketball coach passes away. Rob Schneider is in it. What more do you want?
Knight and Day Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz inflate the budget of this twist-filled action comedy about a fugitive couple being chased across the globe cause they’re ... superspies? Assassins? Terrorists? It's all a bit of a mystery.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Apparently, in this third Twilight film, the shirtless teenage werewolves are ganging up on the dewy-eyed teenage vampires in some sort of less gay version of West Side Story. ... I'm sorry, did I say less gay? I meant more gay.
Love Ranch Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci play a married couple who own and operate a legal brothel in Nevada. Based on a true story.
The Last Airbender M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense, The Village) directs this live-action adaptation of the hit manga-inspired cartoon about mystic, elemental warriors coming to blows with one another.
The Kids Are All Right Indie director Lisa Cholodenko (High Art) returns with this comedy about two children conceived by artificial insemination and raised by lesbian mothers (Julianne Moore, Annette Bening) who attempt to integrate their biological father (Mark Ruffalo) into the family.
Cyrus In this indie comedy from “mumblecore” pioneers the Duplass brothers (The Puffy Chair), a recently divorced, middle-aged guy (John C. Reilly) meets the girl of his dreams (Marisa Tomei) but finds conflict with her overprotective, live-at-home son (Jonah Hill).
Despicable Me This computer-animated toon features an evil supervillain (Steve Carell) whose dastardly plan to steal the moon is sidelined by the arrival of three cute little orphan girls. Miranda Cosgrove, Kristen Wiig, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Danny McBride and Julie Andrews add to the voice cast.
Predators Hungarian director Nimród Antal (Kontroll) tries his hand at rebooting the Predator series. This time around, it’s up to the likes of Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace, Adrien Brody and Danny Trejo to fight the power.
Inception Leonardo DiCaprio stars in and Christopher Nolan (Memento, The Dark Knight) directs this head-trippy sci-fi film about a thief who uses futuristic technology to enter people’s dreams and steal their secrets.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice Nicolas Cage is the Sorcerer, which means that Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder, She’s Out of My League) is taking over for Mickey Mouse in this non-anthropomorphic remake of the famed segment from Fantasia.
Dinner for Schmucks Steve Carell and Paul Rudd star in this remake of a French farce about rich executives who make a sport of inviting the most idiotic people they can find to a dinner party. Rudd is the insecure up-and-comer who’s unsure of the idea but finds himself the perfect ringer in dorktacular IRS employee Carell.
Ramona and Beezus Beverly Cleary’s beloved novels come to life with Disney Channel siren Selena Gomez as older sister Beezus, trying to keep up with the misadventures of her grade-school age sibling Ramona.
Salt Between Killers, Knight and Day and Salt, we're pretty well-covered in the “sexy superspies on the run” genre this summer. Angelina Jolie is a CIA agent fingered as a Russian spy. Is she being framed, or is this all some elaborate plot on her part?
Beastly In this modern-day (read: Twilight-esque) update of the Beauty and the Beast myth, the Beast is a dreamy New York teen (Alex Pettyfer, Stormbreaker) transformed into a monster in order to find true love.
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore Cats & Dogs, the 2001 film that arguably launched today’s talking, sunglasses-wearing CGI animal trend, gets a belated sequel. Here, the ongoing war between species is put on hold to thwart a rogue cat spy with her own evil agenda. Alec Baldwin, Bette Midler, Roger Moore and Katt Williams provide voices. What? No George Lopez as a tough-talking Chihuahua?
Charlie St. Cloud A young man (High School Musical's Zac Efron) overcome by grief from his brother’s death takes a job as a caretaker at the cemetery where he’s buried. Nope, it's not a horror film. It’s a romantic drama chock-full of emo goodness.
The Dry Land In the mood for another Iraq War drama? Here, a soldier (Ryan O’Nan, “The Unusuals”) returns home to a small Texas town and has trouble adjusting. America Ferrera and Wilmer Valderrama are there to help.
The Extra Man A man who escorts wealthy widows in New York’s Upper East Side takes an aspiring young playwright under his wing. Katie Holmes, Paul Dano, John C. Reilly and Kevin Kline star in this indie drama.
Get Low Bill Murray, Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek headline this real-life folk tale about a mysterious, Tennessee hermit in the ’30s who famously threw his own rollicking funeral party while he was still alive.
Flipped Rob Reiner (When Harry Met Sally ...) directs this comedy drama about two eighth graders who start to develop feelings for one another despite the fact that they’re total opposites. Rebecca De Mornay, Penelope Ann Miller, Aidan Quinn and Anthony Edwards are on adult duty.
Mao’s Last Dancer Bruce Beresford (Driving Miss Daisy, Tender Mercies, ‘Breaker’ Morant) helms this Oscar-bait drama about a poor Chinese boy, plucked from obscurity, who went on to study ballet in Beijing—and ended up defecting to America in the late ’70s.
Middle Men Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi and Terry Crews star in this comic biopic about Jack Harris, one of the pioneers of Internet commerce who navigated con men, mobsters, drug addicts and porn stars during the high-flying early days of the tech bubble.
The Other Guys Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg play a couple of screw-up New York City police detectives who get a chance to upstage their heroes, supercops Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson.
Step Up 3-D The street-dancers-crash-uptight-art-colleges series goes the only place it can—into 3D. This time around, our dancer heroes are pitted against the word’s best hip-hoppers in a high-stakes underground kumite for global breakdancing superiority.
Animal Kingdom In this Australian crime drama, a 17-year-old tries to decide between his family’s criminal empire and a police detective who might be able to save his life.
Eat, Pray, Love Elizabeth Gilbert’s runaway bestseller about getting divorced and traveling around the world gets the big-screen treatment with Julia Roberts front and center. (Guess Sandra Bullock was busy.)
The Expendables This all-star, ’80s-style action flick (written and directed by Sylvester Stallone) features Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin, Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke and Arnold friggin’ Schwarzenegger! The majority of them are mercenaries on a deadly mission in South America. The presence of Jean-Claude Van Damme is sorely missed.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Bryan Lee O’Malley’s cult comic book gets adapted by the team who gave us Shaun of the Dead. Michael Cera is a garage band guitarist who meets the girl of his dreams (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Now all he’s got to do is fight all her evil exes, video-game-style.
Tales from Earthsea Japan’s Studio Ghibli, makers of Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away and Ponyo, adapt Ursula K. Le Guin’s epic, dragon-filled fantasy novel.
Lottery Ticket A kid living in the projects unleashes chaos among his friends and neighbors after winning $370 million in the lottery. Terry Crews, Keith David, Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Bow Wow and Bill Bellamy round out the BET-leaning cast.
Nanny McPhee Returns Emma Thompson writes and stars in a sequel to her family fantasy about an ugly but magical nanny.
The Switch An unmarried 40-year-old woman (Jennifer Aniston playing to typecast) learns, seven years after getting pregnant via artificial insemination, that her best friend (Jason Bateman) secretly supplied the sperm sample. Romantic comedy ensues.
Takers Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, Hayden Christensen, Paul Walker, T.I., Chris Brown and Matt Dillon star in this attitude-heavy action film about a gang of bank robbers plotting to steal $20 million.
Going the Distance Real-life on-and-off couple Drew Barrymore and Justin Long anchor this comedy about long-distance relationships. If you don’t like them, there’s also Christina Applegate and Ron Livingston.
Piranha 3-D There wasn’t a very compelling reason to remake the low-budget 1978 Jaws parody Piranha, but here it is. In 3D. With Elizabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd.
The American George Clooney plays an unflappable assassin who hides out in Italy while preparing for one final job.
Born to Be a Star A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents’ famous footsteps—as a porn star. Christina Ricci, Don Johnson, Stephen Dorff and Pauly Shore are among the well-endowed cast.
Machete Robert Rodriguez’ outrageous Mexploitation trailer from Grindhouse gets pumped up to feature-film length. Danny Trejo is the titular ex-Federale who goes gunning for vengeance after being betrayed by a former boss.