Captain Edward England Merriweather’s Severely Abridged Planktionary
flanking: verb – the art of creating a fake plank in an obviously impossible location or circumstance. (See illustrations.)
formal planking: verb – planking during a formal event, specifically in formal attire and conspicuous locations.
permaplank: verb – to die. (Hardcore plankers get buried face down.)
plank/flank skank: noun – a person so addicted to planking/flanking that he or she is constantly planking/flanking and will plank/flank anything.
planking: verb - lying facedown, straight as a plank, with one’s arms at one’s sides.
plankoff/flankoff: noun – a situation where two plankers/flankers compete to create the most incredible plank/flank.
plankophile: noun – a person who doesn’t plank, but watches others plank and enjoys looking at planking photos.
plankout: verb – holding a plank position for such a long period of time that one falls asleep. (See also PWI.)
planktographer: noun - a person who takes photos of people planking for later posting on the Internet. (Must be affiliated with the planker to qualify. See also plawker.)
planktronica: noun - music with perfectly timed rhythm and an uplifting feeling to assist with a person’s planking.
plankwich: noun – a horizontal pileup created by people planking on top of one or more plankers.
plawker: noun - a person who stares at or takes pictures of plankers but is not affiliated with them.
plunk: noun - a flunked plank. (See also replank, chiroplanktor.)
PWI: noun - planking while intoxicated.
replank: verb – to plank the same location again in order to correct a plunk or get a better photo.
splank: verb – aka “ass planking.” To plank with your bare ass showing. (For this type of planking, Union suits with snap flaps are advisable.)
steamplank: verb – to plank while wearing steampunk regalia. (Highly respectable steamplanking has been documented on the top of airborne dirigibles.)
Open Piano Night at Marcello’s Chophouse
My Little Dust at Inpost Artspace
Annual Conversation with Mayor Richard J. Berry at Sheraton Uptown HotelMore Recommented Events ››