Alibi V.21 No.33 • Aug 16-22, 2012 

Feature

Survive! Cannibal Cuisine

2007

So you’re stuck in the wilderness with five of your closest buddies. You've run out of food and rescue is beginning to look unlikely. Though no one has brought it up, you’re all wondering who is going to be eaten first.

The most important thing you must know about surviving a situation like this is do not be the one to bring it up. You'll be eaten once the other members of your party can no longer bear the guilt of eating a friend, and they'll blame you for their moral dilemma. Instead, subtly coax the suggestion out of the person you like the least. This does two things: You won’t have too much trouble blaming him in the media, and you won’t feel that bad about eating him.

Full story: “Cannibal Cuisine”