Alibi Sex Survey
Call it “The List,” call it a “hall pass,” slap whatever name on it you like: Even the most committed couples can make concessions for their partners sleeping with other people. So long as those other people are celebrities. The thinking is twofold. Firstly, long-term relationship or not, you’d be a fool to pass up an opportunity to manhandle People Magazine's “Sexiest Man Alive.” Secondly, your odds of meeting, seducing and actually closing the deal with a famous person are slim-to-none—so what’s the harm in a little fantasy fling?
So who do our readers want to bed? It’s a diverse lot. Apparently they find everyone from Adam Lambert to Alan Rickman, from Aishwarya Rai to Rachel Maddow eminently bangable. For the most part, though, it's not a surprising list. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt each got nine votes. (Perhaps our readers were all imagining a three-way?) In the male category, Johnny Depp edged out Channing Tatum by one vote (26 to 25). In turn, Johnny Depp got edged out by Ryan Gosling, who nailed 28 votes. (Other Faves: Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Jon Hamm and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.) Scarlett Johansson won the female category with 25. Salma Hayek took silver with 21. (Other faves: Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore and Christina Hendricks.) The local celebrity who warmed our fronts was weather girl Kristen Van Dyke, pulling in three votes. (Lock your doors, Kristen.) Interesting one-offs included CNN Anchor Ashleigh Banfield, Betty White, Carrot Top, Cookie Monster, Don Rickles, Garrison Keillor, Penn & Teller and Jesus. (Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream big.) “The dude who plays Jon Snow in ‘Game of Thrones’” and “whoever plays Eric Northman in ‘True Blood’” each got one vote. That would be Kit Harrington and Alexander Skarsgard. Know your crushes, people.
Sadly, “your mom” received two votes. But the overwhelming response (more than 50) was “None”/“Nobody”/“No One”/“Cheating Sucks”/“My partner is fucking hot.” Awww. ... You’re liars, but we love you for it.