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 V.23 No.6 | February 6 - 12, 2014 

Alibi Sex Survey

Whatever Turns You On

Burqueño turn-offs and anatomical fetishes

Dealbreakers

Among those surveyed, the top three turn-offs are: poor hygiene at 22.6 percent; stupidity at 19.2 percent and arrogance at 14.3 percent. If you wanna get close to the Burqueños y Burqueñas who comprise our sample, suds up on the reg, read voraciously, think critically and cultivate reason and perspective. Second-runners up in the eye-rolling, fight-or-flight mating response include: being overweight at 10.7 percenthighly subjective when even “perfect” bodies are Photoshopped into uncanny valley-territorysmoking at 9.2 percent; bad teeth at 8.2 percent; and body odor and bad breath at 7.9 and 7.3 percent respectively. If you're looking for loving, survey says: Stay fit, quit smoking, get your dental hygiene on, invest in a signature scent and carry breath mints. Leered at from a certain angle, our 2014 turn-off stats have a smell good, get smart, stay humble, take care of your oral health, stop-smoking-or-at-least-carry-mints vibe. From an interpersonal perspective, these are good tips for pretty much anyonenot only seekers of true romance, lust or something in between.

In these parts

Corporeal consensus is dominated by a predilection for the windows of the soul (aka eyes) at 60.8 percent and the junk in the trunk (aka ass) at 60.5 percent. Breasts and faces are only slightly less popular with our respondents, tied at 47.3 percent. We didn’t limit participants to merely one body part, so these percentages serve less as a chart than a soft-focus, Vaseline-smeared lens into the ways of the flesh in the 505. After peepers, buns and boobs, the inhabitants of our burg are into the bust's humble counterpart, the chest (32.2 percent), arms (30.7 percent) and hands (22 percent). Either the foot fetishist contingent boycotted our surveyskewing our sample hopelesslyor voting with (and adoring) feet actually scored 8.1 percent. On the lower end of the spectrum, the stomachwhether your pleasure is six-pack abs or a nice, round tummywas cited by 2 percent. There's not a whole lot of shaking going on in the hips or shoulders department at 1 percent each. A sprinkling of fans of iliac crests, armpits and, ahem, brains piped in, too.

 

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The Soundtrack of Our Lives at UNM SUB Ballrooms

The Lobo Anime Club meets to screen and talk about anime music videos and more.

Totally Awesome '80s Prom at Hotel Andaluz

Rebel Donut Dash at Balloon Fiesta Park

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    Oct 12th @ The Launchpad
    Oct 12th @ The Launchpad10.12.2014