Alibi V.24 No.3 • Jan 15-21, 2015 

How to Do Literally Everything

This Is How to Do Literally Everything

There are a lot of things out there in the world. And a whole lot of ways to do them. Quite frankly, sometimes when I think of all the things and all the doing, I get bewildered, confused and frustrated. This happened to me just the other night, and as I twisted the screwcap off another bottle of Barefoot wine, an idea hit me.

What if there were a guide to doing all the things? And what if that guide were in the Weekly Alibi? I mean, sure, we only have so many pages, so we’d have to break it up over a few issues, but just think how handy it will be to have all that info in one place! A guide to doing literally everything!

What if there were a guide to doing all the things?

So it is with great pride that I present to you the very first installment in what is sure to become one of the great wonders of human achievement, the Weekly Alibi’s Guide to Doing Literally Everything, Part 1. In this edition you’ll find instructions on how to get work as a movie extra, make your own skin care products, survive Albuquerque’s bus system and other useful information. But that’s not all! Look out for future issues of this guide in the years to come when we’ll tackle such topics as how to make papier-mâché, how to travel beyond Earth’s orbit, how to transfer your old home movies onto a digital format and how to cure ebola.