By Renee Chavez, Peter Karlsen & Blythe Crawford
Illo by Brie MacQuarrie
Ace Barber Shop
Nestled in the heart of Downtown, Ace Barber Shop always has a full house of talented kings to give you that sweet, sweet style. Customers can show up for a reasonably priced cut, buzz, shave or beard trim, and Ace will ante up some killer local art and a can-do attitude with their motto of “All styles welcome.” If you’re tired of playing Go Fish with your hair, be assured that at Ace, it’s no game of chance whether or not you’ll get the best do in town.
2) Barber's Knock
3) Fade Station/Justin Tyme Barber Shop
Best Hair Salon
CNM Cosmetology School
"A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life," said Coco Chanel. Looking to spice things up? Craft Hair Studio is the best first step, so sayeth Alibi voters.
2) Mark Pardo
Best Cheap Haircut
Remember when you were in first grade and picture day was coming up so your mom would drag you to Great Clips so you could show up all those other loser kids with your model-esque hair? Well, all those hipsters running around today with effortlessly perfect coiffures and delicately curled moustaches had the same experience. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for getting a cheap trim. Everyone’s done it.
3) Style America
Staycations are a thing now right? So if you’re going to do it, you’d better do it right and stay at the best damn hotel in Burque: Hotel Andaluz. Whether it’s the impeccable service, the divine tapas at Más, the unique cocktails featured at Ibiza, or the sleek atmosphere, our voters agree that this is the place to be. Pro tip: Everyone always forgets about their library. We recommend lounging next to the fire with a good book and a glass of amontillado sherry.
2) Hotel Parq Central
3) Hotel Albuquerque
Best Funeral Home
French Funerals & Cremations
No doubt about it: Contemplating one’s own end or the death of a loved one is no fun. But French takes a special view on the matter, shining a warm light on that cold specter and inviting people to face their mortality with bravery and even a sense of humor by “inspir[ing] them to write a final chapter that is as beautiful as the ones that came before it.” With tact, honesty and empathy, French can guide bereaved family members and forward-thinking mortals alike in how to do a proper send off.
2) Riverside Funeral Home/Daniels Family Funeral Services
Best Grocery Store
Cheese curds for some homemade poutine, a bottle of Ghost Pines, salty seaweed snacks, natural cold remedies, salt water taffy, vividly verdant house plants: all can be found at Sprouts, and you don’t have to deal with the aggressive health snobs at Whole Foods. Plus we’ve heard the guys in the deli are pretty delicious themselves.
2) La Montañita Co-Op
Best Solar Energy Company
Wake up people! There’s plastic strangling baby turtles in the ocean, a hole in the ozone layer, and pollution so thick in certain cities that you can stare directly at the sun and just see a slight glow behind the sooty, emphysema-inducing haze. Not only will solar panels get rid of your gas and electric bills, but you’ll also be doing your part to reduce emissions and create a better world. This is one bandwagon you should definitely get on.
Best Real Estate Company
Keller Williams Realty
If you’re adulting hard enough that you have the means and desire to buy a home, Keller Williams is the company that can help you fulfill that white picket fence dream. Sure, they’re a big company, but they must be doing something right to be that successful. Let your agent do the hard work so you can do the fun stuff like snooping through another person’s home and eating all the cookies at the open houses.
2) Maddox & Co/Rick Walsh Realty
Best Cosmetic Surgeon
Hunter S. Thompson believed that “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out.” But if you’d prefer the Kim Kardashian route, Mayberry Cosmetic Surgery will be more than happy to help you “recapture your natural beauty.” Think it’s just breast implants and facelifts? Think again—you could be the proud recipient of a labiaplasty, a tummy tuck or some nice laser hair removal.
Best Ethnic/Specialty Store
Ta-Lin, Talinn, Talyn, Ta… that place with everything. Even though only half of our readers were able to correctly spell the name right, we knew what they meant. You may not remember the spelling, but you will remember the experience. Talin is a magical place where every aisle holds new and exciting treasures. You can spend all day there staring at freaky sea creatures, trying to guess what’s in the bizarre Japanese candies, and selecting strange fruit to try at home. Ever tasted an African horned melon?
2) Cafe Istanbul
3) Bombay Spice
Best Liquor Store
Jubilation Wine & Spirits
This place is hands-down the best, and our readers know it. The staff is so friendly and knowledgeable, you could even say the Jubilation staff have acted as our spirit guides in our varied quests for everything from anisette to the perfect bottle of ambrosia … er, we mean sherry to which bottles of wine will bring out the oak and cherry flavors of a lonely Tuesday night or a well-seasoned leg of lamb.
2) Total Wine & Spirits
3) Kelly Liquors
Best Medical Cannabis Dispensary
The Verdes Foundation
In the immortal words of Ludacris, “Tell me who’s your weed man, how do you smoke so good?” Well, according to our readers with a medical marijuana card, your weed man should be The Verdes Foundation. With strains running the gamut from Peaches and Cream (17.5% THC) to G13 Haze (24% THC) to Pineapple Express (19.3% THC), customers can get their medicine just about any way they like it. Plus they have a full array of edibles, CBD tictures, e-cig juice, salves and gum.
2) Medzen Services
3) Minerva Canna Group
Best Plumbing Company
TLC Plumbing & Utility
Did you know that TLC doesn’t actually stand for “Tender Loving Care?” In the case of this local plumbing company, it was actually the initials of the founders: the Turbov Lowrey Company. But we digress. When it comes to getting that cold air on before the sweltering flames of summer descend or getting that porcelain throne unclogged after Thanksgiving, these plumbers can certainly give your pipes a little TLC.
2) Albuquerque Plumbing, Heating & Cooling
Dr. Douglas Gibbons, D.D.S., P.C.
Starlet Margot Robbie (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Suicide Squad) recently made an ignorant ass of herself on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” by laughing that the only thing she noticed while filming in New Mexico was “lots of missing teeth.” Missing teeth can be caused by an array of issues from poverty and malnutrition to insufficient health care and incompetent dentists. Thankfully, the Duke City has Dr. Doug to thank for saving our pearly whites from gingivitis, tartar build up and the insults of rude actresses.
2) John Salazar/Byron Wall/Daniel Martinez
Nick Speegle (Speegle Sport & Spine)
Dr. Speegle played two seasons for the Cleveland Browns before being on the receiving end of a career-ending back injury; so the man knows a thing or two about an achy back. But he’s no dumb jock. The good doctor has a “true passion for helping others recover” and is certified in Active Release Technique, Integrative Dry Needling, acupuncture and more. If you’re hunched over right now as you read this, well, now you know where to go.
2) The Joint
Best Doctor of Oriental Medicine
Lisabeth Detwiler, D.O.M.
Operating out of Zentral Wellness, Dr. Detwiler knows her craft. She studied at Heilongjiang University of Chinese Medicine in Harbin, China. She specializes in facial rejuvenation acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine. So if your mug is looking like laundry left in the dryer for six days or you have under-eye bags that you could carry groceries in, now might be a good time to call this rad acupuncturist and herbalist.
Best Bowling Alley
Silva Lanes is playing the perfect game, according to local bowling aficionados. With perfectly waxed lanes, balanced balls, delicious grub and nightly karaoke at the bar, Silva’s got a four-bagger and then some. Whether you’re a master of the granny toss or have that perfect form, this Northeast Heights hotspot is the place to be.
2) Skidmore’s Holiday Bowl
3) Lucky 66 Bowl
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