Alibi V.26 No.34 • Aug 24-30, 2017 

Zozobra

Reader’s Remorse

Regrets to feed Mr. Gloom

I regret that I traveled by air when I could have gone by train.

I regret that I didn't plant any pumpkins this year.

I regret going through a drive-thru to get coffee and just saying "Thank" to the hot drive-thru guy after he handed me my coffee.

I regret giving up my life for that jerk I almost married in November!

I regret that I texted while driving in Albuquerque.

I am 24 years young. In high school I had a boyfriend “Dre” whom I thought would be the last guy I'd need/want. I had a very fucked up life during that time and through all of that comes a huge, ugly, haunting regret ... I moved in with Dre's best friend and maintained an awful miserable relationship with him. I was so unhappy with this loser, however, if it wasn't for his family I would have been homeless. I had little to no choice to fuel my awful decision. Now, not one day goes by that I do not think about it.

I regret that I haven't put more time and passion into my painting.

I regret not walking straight out of the building, away from my family and away from N.M. when I received my high school diploma in May 1982. They managed to beat me down for spite, and it took me 34 years to recover. Yes, I'm still here. For now.

I regret that from the early 1990s to about a year ago, I allowed myself to become politically apathetic and did no more than vote every four years. Now we have our own Hitler in the White House.

I regret dating D****** B****.

I regret being a fucking sad-mouthed drunk.

I regret that I haven't been able to make any real friends in Albuquerque.

I regret not trying harder and sacrificing more to be independent.

I regret saying "yes." Deep down, I didn't want it. And now I'd feel like a terrible person if I gave it away.

I regret watching the news and allowing world events to overwhelm my spirit with sadness.

I regret that I found the man of my dreams and quickly destroyed the relationship.

I regret not being myself everyday and losing the value of self happiness.

I regret dating, and subsequently marrying, my husband.

I regret all the undercuts and half-shaven head haircuts I have given myself and subsequently had to grow out through all the awkward phases.

I regret years of drinking, drugging and selfishness.

I regret that I’m so standoffish. I have no idea why I am the way I am.

Alibi Staff Sorrows

The March 23 issue had an interview with mayoral candidate city Councilor Dan Lewis. The morning before going to press, I noticed halfway through the interview that we started calling him Dan Davis (probably because of our political hard-on for city Councilor Pat Davis). Seeing the copy editor's mark to correct the first mistake, I assumed all other instances would also be corrected. The interview was then published with a confusing switch of referring to Lewis as Davis. I regret having made that assumption.

I regret that the Alibi is too damn sexy.

I regret that I missed that “Cheesecake” was misspelled in a title. #stupid

I regret calling a client by the wrong name for two whole weeks until she finally snapped. Incidentally her name turned out not to be Becky with the good hair.