Nov 3 - 9, 2005 

Feature

The Alibi's Worry Issue

Stop it! You're freaking me out!

By Steven Robert Allen

No offense to Bob Marley, but if you don't worry about a thing, if you really think every little thing's going to be all right, then you're smoking something a lot stronger than plain old Mary Jane. The world's a scary place, and it's getting scarier with each passing month. Sure, we've put Halloween, Dia de los Muertos and a creepy city election behind us, but we here at the Alibi sincerely believe the worst is yet to come.

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Feature

The Worry Wheel

Spin your way to a worry-filled day

By Laura Marrich

With so much worrisome activity in the world today, it's getting harder and harder to determine what's merely a source of concern and what's really worth worrying about. Stop waffling over your worries: Let the Alibi Worry Wheel take all the guesswork out of fretting. From the apocalypse to pinkeye, we've got 32 of your favorite neurotic obsessions in one convenient little spinner. Keep one at home, in the car and at the office—you'll never be far from something to worry about!

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Feature

A Glossary of Phobias

By Compiled by Simon McCormack

Arachibutyrophobiafear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Dishabiliophobiafear of undressing in front of someone
Medomalacuphobiafear of losing an erection
Papaphobiafear of the Pope
Politicophobiafear of politicians
Anablephobiafear of looking up
Anuptaphobiafear of staying single
Autodysomophobiafear of one that has a vile odor
Coulrophobiafear of clowns
Eremophobiafear of being oneself
Euphobiafear of hearing good news
Hellenologophobiafear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology
Metrophobiafear of poetry
Optophobiafear of opening your eyes
Phagophobiafear of being eaten
Phalacrophobiafear of becoming bald
Pteronophobiafear of being tickled by feathers
Soceraphobiafear of parents-in-law
Source: phobialist.com

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Brown recluse

Feature

Deadly Bugs

Creepy, crawly, creepy, crawly, creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly, creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

By Simon McCormack and Steven Robert Allen

No matter how many times someone reassuringly tells you, "most insects aren't poisonous," or "they're more scared of you than you are of them," their advice doesn't seem to resonate whenever a bug of some sort crawls up your leg, flies into your mouth or is located anywhere near your general vicinity. The truth is, you have good reason to be terrified of bugs.

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Feature

Fun with Diseases

Let's do the Hypochondriac Shuffle, shall we?

By Simon McCormack and Steven Robert Allen

Necrotizing Fasciitis—This disease, which involves a type of flesh-eating bacteria, can affect many parts of the body but usually is found in the extremities. It's characterized by, among other things, unexplained fever, inflammation of the infected area and raised lesions filled with purple or blue fluid. Early detection is key because the disease can spread very easily to other parts of the body. Still, it's probably not a good idea to rush to the hospital every time you have an unexplained fever or a rash. But may we suggest instead gouging away any suspicious-looking flesh with a pocketknife or other sharp object?

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Feature

The Truth is Out There

A few of our favorite conspiracy websites

By Simon McCormack

www.conspiracyplanet.com
Features conspiracy topics regarding 9/11, anthrax, genetic engineering and much, much more.

www.bvalphaserver.com
Includes articles on UFOs, cloning, chemical weapons and more.

www.theinsider.org
Conspiracies from the past and present, including our government's current hidden agenda and Christopher Columbus' web of lies.

www.freemasonrywatch.org
Conspiracies related to the Free Masons.

www.conspiracyarchive.com
Articles on World War II and United Nations hoaxes as well as a section dedicated to microchips implanted in people's brains.

www.batesmotel.8m.com
A site entirely dedicated to proving that we never landed on the moon.

www.mcadams.posc.mu.edu/sites.htm
Discusses the various theories about who really shot JFK.

www.museumofhoaxes.com
Features a forum where conspiracy theorists can chat about whatever is on their mind. No topic is too out-there or farfetched.

www.topsitelists.com/bestsites/conspire/
A ranking of over 20 conspiracy sites. (Scroll down.)

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Feature

21st Century Thieves

For all you know, your identity has already been stolen

By Jessica Cassyle Carr

It happened to Sandra Bullock in 1995's classic action thriller, The Net, so why can't it happen to you? Think your boring life can't erode into a murderous web of lies, accented with spontaneous explosions, perpetrated by some conniving thief? Think again.

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Web Feature

What's the Alibi Worried About?

Alibi staff members reveal their deepest, darkest fears—online at alibi.com

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