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 Aug 16 - 22, 2012 
Survival Guide Spectacular

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Survival Guide Spectacular

A 1,000-pound gorilla of wisdom

By Laura Marrich
Sound the trumpets! The Weekly Alibi turns the page on its millennial issue this week. That's 1,000 editions of the best food, film, news and entertainment coverage ever to lay ink on this great City of Duke. We drew from this pool of past insight to put together our annual Survival Guide.

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Survive! Buffet Endurance Sports

1992

By Hector Jones
Heap your plate as full as possible. Begin eating. Do not stop eating until your plate is empty. Don’t talk or look up until your plate is empty.

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Survive! Collegiate Attire

1993

By Brendan Doherty
“Doc Martens, shorts, sundresses, Doc Martens, and tattoos.”

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Survive! The Roach Apocalypse

1993

By Pa Koene
“During the blistering hot day they stayed beneath the floor, within the brick-walled foundation, where the leaky water and waste pipes provided enough support for their hard-shelled orgies.”

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Survive! Professional Unemployment

1995

By Marya Errin Jones
Nothing turns a generous friend, loving mother or gentle lover into bitch concentrate faster than supporting an ungrateful slacker.
Scott RIckson

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Survive! Selling Your Body

2004

By Steven Robert Allen

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Survive! Required Reading

2005

By Steven Robert Allen

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Survive! The City's Info Hotline

2005

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Rex Barron

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Survive! Simultaneously Walking and Being a Woman

2007

By Jessica Cassyle Carr

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Survive! Ration-Based Fine Dining

2007

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Survive! Cannibal Cuisine

2007

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Eric Garcia

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Survive! An Extraterrestrial Probing

2008

By Benjamin Radford

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Jeremy Eaton

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Survive! Matriculation

2009

By Marisa Demarco and Simon McCormack

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Survive! Graduation

2009

By Erin Adair-Hodges

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