The Alibi's Worry Issue
Stop it! You're freaking me out!
No offense to Bob Marley, but if you don't worry about a thing, if you really think every little thing's going to be all right, then you're smoking something a lot stronger than plain old Mary Jane. The world's a scary place, and it's getting scarier with each passing month. Sure, we've put Halloween, Dia de los Muertos and a creepy city election behind us, but we here at the Alibi sincerely believe the worst is yet to come.
The Worry Wheel
Spin your way to a worry-filled day
With so much worrisome activity in the world today, it's getting harder and harder to determine what's merely a source of concern and what's really worth worrying about. Stop waffling over your worries: Let the Alibi Worry Wheel take all the guesswork out of fretting. From the apocalypse to pinkeye, we've got 32 of your favorite neurotic obsessions in one convenient little spinner. Keep one at home, in the car and at the office—you'll never be far from something to worry about!
A Glossary of Phobias
Arachibutyrophobia—fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Creepy, crawly, creepy, crawly, creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly, creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
No matter how many times someone reassuringly tells you, "most insects aren't poisonous," or "they're more scared of you than you are of them," their advice doesn't seem to resonate whenever a bug of some sort crawls up your leg, flies into your mouth or is located anywhere near your general vicinity. The truth is, you have good reason to be terrified of bugs.
Fun with Diseases
Let's do the Hypochondriac Shuffle, shall we?
Necrotizing Fasciitis—This disease, which involves a type of flesh-eating bacteria, can affect many parts of the body but usually is found in the extremities. It's characterized by, among other things, unexplained fever, inflammation of the infected area and raised lesions filled with purple or blue fluid. Early detection is key because the disease can spread very easily to other parts of the body. Still, it's probably not a good idea to rush to the hospital every time you have an unexplained fever or a rash. But may we suggest instead gouging away any suspicious-looking flesh with a pocketknife or other sharp object?
The Truth is Out There
A few of our favorite conspiracy websites
21st Century Thieves
For all you know, your identity has already been stolen
It happened to Sandra Bullock in 1995's classic action thriller, The Net, so why can't it happen to you? Think your boring life can't erode into a murderous web of lies, accented with spontaneous explosions, perpetrated by some conniving thief? Think again.
A Thousand Voices at National Hispanic Cultural Center
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