alibi online
Free Will AstrologyAlibi's Personals



 
 V.14 No.13 | March 31 - April 6, 2005 

Idiot Box

The Horror! The Horror!

“Project Greenlight” on Bravo

In their move from HBO to Bravo, “Project Greenlight” creators Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and, uh ... the other nonfamous guy decided it was time to go commercial. The first two seasons of the moviemaking reality show produced two dreary coming-of-age dramas, The Battle Of Shaker Heights and Stolen Summer, neither of which made the slightest ripple at the box office. For the third season, then, it was decided to move from prestigious Oscar-generating indie studio Miramax (Shakespeare in Love, Chicago) to cheapjack genre filmmakers Dimension (Dracula 2000, Darkness). The purpose: to create an inexpensive box office hit.

In ditching the high-minded artistic aspirations of the first two seasons, “Project Greenlight 3” has hit upon perhaps the most honest portrait of Hollywood ever recorded. So far this season, Affleck and Damon have come off as a respectable, intelligent duo, angling for the smartest scripts and the most talented people. Unfortunately, they've made a deal with the devil. Dimension, like just about every chintzy horror/sci-fi studio in Hollywood history, is only interested in appealing to the lowest common denominator.

No wonder then, that the script chosen for development this year was the beastly “horror comedy” Feast. The script, by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan (an annoying chatterbox who looks like he's auditioning for open mic night at the Chuckle Hut every time he's on camera), is a total piece of crap about some people trapped in the middle of nowhere and a bunch of monsters who attack them. This is the script the producers chose out of thousands of entries? Immediately, everyone involved admits it sucks and needs to be completely rewritten. Welcome to Hollywood, folks.

Affleck and Damon at least stuck to their guns and got the most interesting of the director candidates hired. John Gulager, a middle-aged schlub with some demonstrable talent and a comical lack of self-esteem is now prevailed upon to turn this junky script into a hit movie. Though he's skilled with a camera, Gulager seems to have zero people skills. He's unable to articulate his smallest thought and would rather just cast the entire film with his family members. Gulager (who actually has a tighter Hollywood connection than the show would lead you to believe) is certainly the best dramatic choice for the show, creating loads of tension among Feast's producers, casting directors and writers. Whether or not he actually survives the shoot without being fired remains to be seen. (I have my doubts.)

“Project Greenlight 3” is at its best when revealing the utter idiocy that goes into making feature films. For example, after weeks of discussing how funny the chosen script is, executives at Dimension announce flatly “there's no way this is gonna be a comedy.” Even Wes Craven, brought on board to produce Feast, looks embarrassed by this one--and he's produced garbage like They, Mind Ripper and Dracula II: Ascension.

I have full confidence at this stage of the game that the finished product for Feast will be god awful. But watching this season of “Project Greenlight” will at least answer the age-old question, “How did they make a movie that freakin' bad?”

“Project Greenlight” airs every Tuesday at 7 p.m. on Bravo.


Tomorrow's Events

Christmas with the Dead at Guild Cinema

Saturday

Rio Rancho Media Meetup at Knight Blue Design Studio

via Rioranchomedia Facebook page

A chance for all creative types in the film and media community to meet and mingle.

International Film Presentation Series Debut at Loma Colorado Main Library Auditorium

More Recommented Events ››
Join our mailing list for exclusive info, the week's events and free stuff!

 

  • Select sidebar boxes to add below. You can also click and drag to rearrange the boxes; close using the little X icons on each box. To re-add a box you closed, return to this menu.
  • Because you are not logged in, any changes you make to these boxes will vanish as soon as you click to another page. If you log in, the boxes will stick.
  • alibi.com
  • Web Exclusives
  • Recent Rocksquawk Discussions
  • Recent Classifieds
  • Most Active Users
  • Most Active Stories
  • Calendar Comments
  • Albuquerque
  • Duke City Fix
  • Albuquerque Beer Scene
  • What's Wrong With This Picture?
  • Reddit Albuquerque
  • ABQ Journal Metro
  • ABQrising
  • ABQ Journal Latest News
  • Del.icio.us Albuquerque
  • NM and the West
  • New Mexico FBIHOP
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • Only in New Mexico
  • Mario Burgos
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • High Country News
  • El Grito
  • NM Politics with Joe Monahan
  • Stephen W. Terrell's Web Log
  • The Net Is Vast and Infinite
  • Slashdot
  • Freedom to Tinker
  • Is there a feed that should be on this list? Tell us about it.
Low Life Happy Hour
Low Life Happy Hour11.28.2014