“Forty Deuce” (Bravo 9 p.m.) This new “limited” reality series (it only lasts four episodes) follows the creation of Las Vegas' newest nightclub, a retro-style burlesque joint originally founded in Hollywood. As if shots of tattooed rockabilly-style strippers wasn't enough, the series is directed by the king of classy kink, Zalman King (9 1/2 Weeks, “Red Shoe Diaries”).
“Living With Fran” (KWBQ-19 7:30 p.m.) God, for a minute there, I was afraid this was some new reality series following Fran Drescher around. Turns out it's a new sitcom which stars Drescher as a recent divorcée whose life with her new twentysomething boyfriend is complicated by the fact that she lives with her twentysomething son. ... Nope, I'm still afraid.
Snake King (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) I've taken a break from writing about Sci-Fi Channel's Original Movies, especially the ones about giant killer animals--mostly because there's one on every freakin' week. But I had to make an exception to this one because it stars Stephen Baldwin. Who are you to resist the power of the Baldwin clan?
“The Ultimate Fighter” (Spike 7 p.m.) Spike's man-to-man bitchslapping festival comes to an end with a live two-hour smackdown to determine who is the titular “ultimate fighter.”
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (VH1 8 p.m.) Last year's acclaimed documentary about everybody's favorite metal band pops up on basic cable. Wanna know just how dysfunctional the family known as Metallica is? This doc will give you the psychological scoop.
Supervolcano (Discovery 6 p.m.) Discovery Channel gets a bit speculative with its science. It's not as out there as Animal Planets recent “Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real” special, but this is a fictional disaster movie pondering just what would happen if Yellowstone National Park decided to unleash its majestic fury on all our asses.
“CMT Music Awards 2005” (CMT 9 p.m.) So, do Joan Rivers and Jeff Foxworthy stand on the red carpet and criticize the 10-gallon hats?
“The Deadliest Catch” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Discovery's newest reality series follows the crew of an Alaskan crab fishing boat, allegedly one of the deadliest jobs in the world. Instead of seeing who gets voted out of the house each week, we get to see who falls off the boat and freezes to death in the storm-tossed sea. Now there's some reality for you.
“Stacked” (KASA-2 7:30 p.m.) FOX's newest sitcom innovation places boobified pin-up model Pamela Anderson in a bookstore. See, she's got big boobs. And she works in a book store. And it's called “Stacked.” Get it? “Stacked.” Heh, heh. ... Well, that pretty much sums up any and all jokes in this one.
“Revelations” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) What could be more fun than the end of the world? A physicist (Bill Pullman) and a nun (Natascha McElhone) race against the clock to stop the Biblical Apocalypse in NBC's newest series. Take that, God.