Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“CSI” (CBS 7 p.m.) CBS' hit crime series heads into summer rerun season with a hell of a send-off. Seems that the CSI team is in a race against time when one of its members gets kidnapped and buried alive. OK, so the story's not that original--but it's directed by Quentin Tarantino, who spent a good chunk of his last movie burying Uma Thurman alive.
The Muppets' Wonderful Wizard of Oz (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) The Muppets return to TV, sending up the classic L. Frank Baum tale with musical accompaniment and guest stars like Ashanti, Queen Latifah and Quentin Tarantino. (Again with the Tarantino?)
“Voyage to the Planets and Beyond” (Discovery 6 p.m.) Like the CGI speculation of the recent “Alien Planet,” this effects-heavy documentary dramatizes the potential dangers facing our first extraplanetary explorers.
“Desperate Housewives” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Hard to tell if the season-opening suicide plotline will wrap up in tonight's finale, but this guilty pleasure has already generated enough new secrets and lies to fuel itself for another couple years.
“Deadwood” (HBO 10 p.m.) Jeez, just when you thought life in Deadwood couldn't get any lousier, the sheriff's kid had to go and get stomped by a horse. Now everybody in town is in a really pissy mood. Don't expect the mood to lighten in tonight's season finale.
“24” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) After 23 hours, I can't keep track of who wants to blow up the United States anymore. Which makes this show highly realistic.
“Nick and Jessica: Tour of Duty” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Seems to me, if we really supported our troops, we wouldn't be sending them crappy variety shows starring the likes of Nick and Jessica.
“Rob and Amber Get Married” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) I'm bored to tears at the weddings of people I actually care about. Why would I want to spend two hours at the nuptials of America's favorite semi-not-annoying reality show “stars.” Especially when there's no chance of an open bar reception afterward.
Trump Unauthorized (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Please don't take the word “Unauthorized” to mean that this cheezy TV biopic of real estate mogul Donald Trump actually contains enough scandalous accusations to keep viewers awake.
“Bad Girl's Guide” (KASY-50 8:30 p.m.) Based on the tongue-in-cheek self-help book of the same name, this sitcom features three ladies who live life as self-proclaimed “bad girls.” Among the cast is Jenny “long time no see” McCarthy.
“Lost” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) I'm just saying: Don't expect to walk out of tonight's season finale expecting to know exactly what the hell's going on here. I strongly suspect you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. These guys have two or three more seasons to milk.
Amber Frey: Witness for the Prosecution (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Boy, Scott Peterson's former girlfriend didn't waste any time signing that book-and-movie contract, did she?
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Sleeping Beauty at Century 14 Downtown
Live from the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow, see this classic fairytale complete with jewel fairies, a magical kingdom, a youthful princess and a handsome prince in this purest style of classical ballet.
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