“Secrets of the International Spy Museum” (Travel Channel 7 p.m.) Heck, if any place has got secrets, it's the International Spy Museum.
“Smallville” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) Talk about whipping out your big-time star cameos just in time for Sweeps Month! Good ol' boy John Schneider (playing Superman's dad) is joined by former sidekick Tom Wopat. It's like a “Dukes of Hazzard” reunion. Where's Cooter when you need him?
“Real Time With Bill Maher” (HBO 12 a.m.) Boy, Bill Maher picked a poor time, politically speaking, to head out on hiatus. I mean, look at all the juicy jokes that the current administration is supplying comedians with. Still, Bill does get extra credit for assembling one of the oddest guest combinations ever for his season finale: shock filmmaker John Waters and the former president of Ireland.
“America's Most Wanted: The Collar Bomber Special” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) Remember a couple years ago when that pizza guy walked into a bank with a bomb strapped around his neck and said he was being forced into robbing the joint? And then he blew up? What was up with that? “America's Most Wanted” looks into it.
“George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing” (HBO 11 p.m.) Nice to see George shedding his old cynicism.
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) OK, so FOX pulled a fast one on us last weekend. They could have showed a new “Treehouse of Horrors” episode in time for Halloween. But no. They gave us a crummy rerun and waited for Sweeps Month to begin. Jerks. Anyway, here it is, the XVIth “Treehouse” episode.
“The West Wing” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) In one of the more clever Sweeps gimmicks, “West Wing” offers a live presidential debate between the two presidential candidates Santos (Jimmy Smits) and Vinick (Alan Alda).
Category 7: The End of the World (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) An unprecedented category 7 storm is destroying all the world's landmarks, Independence Day-style, and it's up to Randy Quaid and Shannen Doherty to save the day. ... Yeah, we're toast.
“The Boondocks” (Cartoon Network 12 a.m.) I've always found the controversial comic strip on which this is based to be controversial, certainly, but never ... you know, funny. I suspect the show will be largely the same.
“Arrested Development” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Two new episodes of “Arrested Development” back-to-back. And they feature Charlize Theron. OK, FOX, I forgive you for the whole “Treehouse of Horrors” incident.
“All-Star Tribute to Patty LaBelle: Live from Atlantis” (KASY-50 8 p.m.) You had me right up until the word “Atlantis.”
“The Kennedy Center Presents: The 2005 Mark Twain Prize” (KNME-5 8 p.m.) It's a good thing they're giving this award to Steve Martin before his remake of The Pink Panther comes out, because that's gonna kill any lingering illusion that the guy is still funny.