Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Giganto: The Real King Kong” (History 7 p.m.) Desperate to find some way of glomming on to this season's biggest movie blockbuster, History Channel digs up a documentary on the prehistoric ape Gigantopithecus.
“A Charlie Brown Christmas” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Because once is never enough.
“A Scooby-Doo Christmas” (KWBQ-19 7:30 p.m.) The Mysteries Inc. gang stumbles across a cheerless town haunted by a headless snowman. Not to denigrate the citizens of this fine burg, but on the list of supernatural horrors, the headless snowman ranks right up there with the broken-down Ford Pinto. I mean, a headless snowman is just two large snowballs, isn't it?
“Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends Christmas Special: A Lost Claus” (Cartoon Network 8 p.m.) Ironic that the imaginary monsters of Foster's would lose their belief in Santa Claus, but that's apparently the case here.
“Cops: Ho! Ho! Ho! Special Edition” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) In case you were wondering, that “Ho!” thing has got nothing to do with Santa.
The Sound of Music (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Nothing says “the network program director is on vacation” better than a holiday airing of The Sound of Music.
“Frosty the Snowman” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Thirty-six years and the sound effects still creep me out.
Once Upon a Mattress (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Long a staple of regional dinner theater, this fantasy musical comes to life with Carol Burnett, Tracey Ullman, Zooey Deschanel and Tom Smothers. (What, you couldn't find a role for Dick?)
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) The Simpsons spin Christmas tales. Woo-hoo!
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Cousin Eddie rules.
“Deal or No Deal” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) NBC tries to revive the short-lived “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” phenomenon with this new nightly gameshow in which people can win a penny or a million dollars. Howie Mandel hosts. ... Well, so much for that idea.
“A Barbara Walters Special: Heaven--Where is it? How Do We Get In?” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Finally, the questions that have plagued theologians for millennia will be answered. By celebrity journalist Barbara Walters. I hope when she gets to Heaven she asks Jesus, “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?”
“Animals Behaving Badly” (Animal Planet 8 p.m.) This special spotlights “repulsive, putrid and bizarre” animal behavior. So, feel free to eat dinner during the show.
“The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Martha's pale Donald Trump imitation comes to an end, raising the question, “Do you really want to work for someone who drove her company into bankruptcy, went to prison and got her show canceled?”