“Deal or No Deal” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Is it me, or is this the worst game show ever broadcast on television? It's basically the equivalent of watching people flip coins. And it's hosted by Howie Mandel.
“Earth, Wind and Fire: Tribute on Ice” (Bravo 7 p.m.) I guess you haven't achieved the level of true soul music legends until someone produces an ice-dancing spectacular featuring your tunes.
“Being Bobby Brown: Christmas with the Browns” (Bravo 8 p.m.) Well, I guess it beats Christmas with the Bonaduces.
“The Dukes of Hazzard” (CMT 8 p.m.) On tonight's historic episode, titled “The Great Santa Claus Chase,” mean old Boss Hogg steals all the Christmas trees in Hazzard County, prompting the Grinch to sue for copyright infringement.
The Last Run (Speed 6 p.m.) I guess there isn't a lot of NASCAR going on this time of year, because the Speed Channel is reduced to showing actual movies! This 1971 effort doesn't exactly belong in the Car Chase Hall of Fame, but it does feature George C. Scott as a burned-out getaway driver yanked out of retirement to provide some wheels for gangster Tony Musante. The car, in case you're wondering, is a 1957 BMW 503 roadster.
It's a Wonderful Life (KOB-4 7 p.m.) It used to be this movie was in the public domain, and you could see it a hundred times around Christmas. Somehow, it's not anymore, and this is one of your only chances to see the classic.
“The Year Without a Santa Claus” (ABC Family 7 p.m.) My personal favorite Rankin/Bass stop-motion animation holiday special, if for no other reason than it features the kick-ass Heat Miser/Snow Miser song. ... Plus, Santa's kind of a jerk in this one.
“Christmas at the Hollywood Palace” (KNME-5 8 p.m.) This episode of “The Hollywood Palace” variety show was originally broadcast in the '60s and features such guests as Bing Crosby, Perry Como, Bob Newhart and The Lennon Sisters.
See “Idiot Box” Above.
“The Soup: Clipdown '05” (E! 7 p.m.) E!'s talk show/reality show rundown is always good for a chuckle and has served as a training ground for the likes of Greg Kinnear, John Henson, Hal Sparks and Aisha Tyler (back when it was “Talk Soup”). Current host John McHale shows off this year's best clips.
“The 28th Annual Kennedy Center Honors” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) This year's honorees include Tony Bennett, Susanne Farrell, Julie Harris, Robert Redford and Tina Turner. Susanne Farrell was a ballerina. ... Yeah, I'd never heard of her either.
“The Funniest Commercials of the Year 2005” (TBS 7 p.m.) So this is what it all comes down to, huh? Hurricanes destroyed the Gulf Coast, war in the Middle East claimed thousands of lives, the government is collapsing under its own corruption and ineptitude. ... But we did have a few funny TV commercials this year.