“Crumbs” (KOAT-7 8:30 p.m.) I'll give this one points for its interesting cast. Fred Savage (“Wonder Years”) and Eddie McClintock (“Stark Raving Mad”) star as brothers who reunite in their hometown to deal with their mother (Jane Curtain, “3rd Rock From the Sun”), who has just been released from a mental hospital, and their father (William Devane, “Knot's Landing”), who is about to have a baby with his new girlfriend. Now that, my friends, is dysfunctional.
“Living With Fran” (KWBQ-19 7:30 p.m.) Fran Drescher's high-volume sitcom returns from hiatus. Actually, I was doing just fine living without Fran.
“Robotboy” (Cartoon Network 10 a.m.) Cartoon Network launches its brand new Saturday morning lineup with this fresh toon about an adolescent android who was built as the ultimate fighting robot, but just wants to be a normal boy. Stick around till 11 a.m. for another new series, “Ben 10,” about a 10-year-old who fights alien invaders with the help of a high-tech gizmo that can transform him into one of 10 super-powered monsters. Now this is what Saturday mornings are all about.
“Hustle” (AMC 8 p.m.) AMC's twisty new series (yes, series) follows the exploits of some London-based con artists who swindle big money from respectable but greedy “marks.” ... Say, is that The Man from U.N.C.L.E. himself, Robert Vaughn, at the top of the cast list? Con on, Bob.
“24” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Seems like faking your own death would get you a day off, at least. But poor Jack Bauer is back on the job already. Seems that some evil terrorists are ... Well, you know the drill.
Jesse Stone: Night Passage (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Sounds like an erotic Showtime movie starring some WWE wrestler. But it's actually a sequel to last season's TV mystery Stone Cold. Tom Selleck reprises his role as Robert B. Parker's small-town sheriff, called upon to solve assorted salacious crimes while looking gruff.
“63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) It's just like the Oscars, but with less pressure and more booze.
“American Idol” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Look, if you're gonna watch this damn thing, at least tune in now while you can still get some smug amusement off of all the awful performers. In a few weeks, it will be down to the “good” contestants, and then who cares?
“King of Vegas” (Spike 8 p.m.) Spike shows some love to casino games other than poker by having a bunch of people compete in a giant gamble-off and crowning one “King of Vegas” (which is really just an honorary title).
“Love Monkey” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) Sadly, this new comedy/drama does not involve an actual monkey. Happily, it does feature “Ed” star Tom Cavanagh as a thirtysomething record executive navigating the dating waters of New York City. It's based on a book by Kyle Smith that I've never head of.
“Skating With Celebrities” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Oh, now they're just throwing random verbs at the word “celebrities.” What's next: “Celebrity Lawnmowing”? Seriously, how long do you think it'll be before “Full House” star Dave Coulier busts out with his hilarious Popeye impression?