Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“My Name is Earl” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Earl tries to make up for a lot of troubles caused by that little mix-up known as Y2K. Jeez, I hope he wasn't responsible for that. He's gonna have to refund people for a lot of canned goods and gas-powered generators.
“Best of Amusement Parks 2006” (Travel Channel 9 p.m.) If you're thinking of trucking the family off to some overpriced brand-name playground this summer, perhaps you might want to tune in and find out what the hottest destinations are.
Mortuary (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Poor Tobe Hooper. Thirty years ago, he shocked the American horror industry to life with his hallmark film, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, every horror film in creation is ripping off his ideas, and he's reduced to directing direct-to-Sci-Fi-Channel junk like this cheesy zombie film starring Denise Crosby (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”).
“20th Annual Soul Train Awards” (VH1 7 p.m.) Because the world needs more Don Cornelius.
Princess Mononoke (Cartoon Network 8:30 p.m.) CN kicks off a Saturday night run of Hayao Miyazaki films with this 1997 masterpiece about a cursed warrior caught in a struggle between the forces of nature and industrial progress.
“Standing Tall at Auschwitz” (History 7 p.m.) This certifiably strange documentary chronicles the struggles of a family of little people who survived life in World War II death camps with the help of (believe it or not) wacky Nazi doc Josef Mengele.
Dark Kingdom: Dragon King (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Benno Fürmann (My House in Umbria), Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3) and Alicia Witt (The Upside of Anger) star in this cheesed-up miniseries adaptation of Richard Wagner's operatic cycle The Ring of the Nibelung. There's lots of swords and dragons, but mercifully (for some folks), no singing.
“Spying on Myself” (A&E 7 p.m.) A&E's new reality series has people using high-tech surveillance to answer burning questions like, “Why does my mother-in-law not like me?” Well, maybe because you're secretly taping her for a reality show.
“Teachers” (KOB-4 8:30 p.m.) Poor, overworked sitcom “Scrubs” finally gets some assistance on Tuesday nights with this new show about, well, teachers. Justin Bartha (Failure to Launch) stars.
“Thief” (FX 11 p.m.) FX launches the latest “24”/“Prison Break”-inspired crime drama. This one stars Andre Braugher (“Homicide: Life on the Streets”) as a career thief who becomes the target of some murderous Chinese gangsters after his latest heist goes horribly wrong. Linda Hamilton (The Terminator) and Michael Rooker (The Chronicles of Riddick) are also in there.
“The Bedford Diaries” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) Matthew Modine stars as a college professor teaching a controversial class on human sexuality in this ensemble drama/romance from creator Tom Fontana (“Oz”). The series apparently features lots of frank sexual talk, which should go over well with all the teens who are tuning in to watch “One Tree Hill” beforehand.