Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“MTV Movie Awards” (MTV 10 p.m.) Jessica Alba hosts. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger are up for Best Kiss. What more do you want?
“Windfall” (NBC 9 p.m.) Luke Perry, Sarah Wynter and D.J. Cotrona headline this ensemble cast drama about 20 young people who win a share in a $386 million lottery jackpot.
“Hex” (BBC America 8 p.m.) A teenage misfit discovers she is heir to a centuries-old tradition of witchcraft in the pilot for the new BBC series. (Think “Charmed” with more accents and less Shannon Doherty.)
“Where My Dogs At?’ (MTV2 11 p.m.) This new animated series follows the adventures of two stray dogs living in Hollywood.
“The Chico & Guapo Show” (MTV2 11:30 p.m.) This new animated series follows the adventures of two janitors working at a New York music studio.
Black Hole (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Sadly, not a remake of the Disney space saga. We do, however, get an ’80s flashback courtesy of stars Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club) and Kristy Swanson (Flowers in the Attic) playing a pair of scientists who accidentally unleash an energy-sucking monster.
“The 60th Annual Tony Awards” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) I know you ignore the Tony Awards every year. But this time around it’s hosted by 60 (count ’em, 60) stars. Hank Azaria, Glenn Close, Ralph Fiennes, Anna Paquin, Oprah Winfrey and Julia Roberts will be there. Now are you excited about who wins Best Lighting Design of a Musical?
“The 4,400” (USA 7 p.m.) When we last left the 4,400 they were dying off, thanks to the government’s “cure.” What’s in store this season for our superevolved humans?
“Deadwood” (HBO 7 p.m.) It’s about f*&#ing time this show came back!
“Lucky Louie” (HBO 11:30 p.m.) Louis C.K. stars in this working-class sitcom recorded live in front of a studio audience. (Think “The Honeymooners,” but with more toilet humor.)
“The Closer” (TNT 7 p.m.) The return of Kyra Sedgwick’s sharp crime drama gives us another ray of hope in the summer TV season.
“Hell’s Kitchen” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) Because there’s just something compelling about watching British people yelling and throwing pots.
“How to Get the Guy” (ABC 9 p.m.) This new “docu-soap” (their word, not mine) follows four single women through the dating scene of San Francisco.
“Tuesday Night Book Club” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) This one-hour series follows the lives of a group of real women in a middle-class suburb as they deal with the day-to-day pressures of raising kids, maintaining households and satisfying their husbands. Given that a vast number of TV viewers are, in fact, women in a middle class suburb dealing with the day-to-day pressures of raising kids, maintaining households and satisfying their husbands, what exactly is the point of this show?
“Stanley Cup Finals” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Well, look who’s come crawling back. You Molson-swilling lockout lovers!