Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
Shark Week (Discovery 7 p.m.) Shark Week continues over on Discover. First up tonight, we’ve got “Shark Rebellion,” in which “scientists study shark attacks in Recife, Brazil.” At 8 p.m., it’s “Shark Attack Survivors,” which is about “surviving a shark attack.” Finally, at 9 p.m., we have “Shark Roulette,” covering the topic of “shark attacks.” I sense a pattern here.
“Miami City Vice” (A&E 8 p.m.) A&E’s new docu-series, a spin-off of “The First 48,” arrives just in time to hitch its wagon to the big-screen “Miami Vice” remake. Lt. Joe Schillaci has a brand-new job heading up a high-profile, undercover special operations team. I wonder if they’ll wear ice-cream-colored suits and penny loafers.
Air Bud: Spikes Back (WGN 6 p.m.) OK, I can believe that a dog could play basketball (Air Bud). I can believe a dog could play football (Air Bud: Golden Receiver). I can see a dog playing soccer, certainly (Air Bud: World Pup). In a pinch, I can even imagine a dog playing baseball (Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch). But I absolutely draw the line at a dog playing volleyball. I mean, c’mon! Who’s gonna believe that?
Don’t Trip ... He Ain’t Through With Me Yet! (BET 9 p.m.) Original King of Comedy Steve Harvey dumps his blue material to perform before a group of church-folk in his hometown of Atlanta, Ga. Harvey riffs on church, children, family and African-American culture for evangelicals at Bishop T.D. Jakes' annual "Megafest" convention. Candid but definitely PG-rated.
“Three Moons Over Milford” (ABC Family 7 p.m.) This new series is described as a “quirky drama” set in a small town whose residents take their lives to the extreme--quitting jobs, indulging vices and basically living as if today were their last--upon learning that a cosmic explosion is threatening Earth's existence.
“Metalocalypse” (Cartoon Network 11:45 p.m.) Tommy Blacha (writer for “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” and “Andy Richter Controls the Universe”) and Brendon Small (creator and star of “Home Movies”) have combined their powers for this new Adult Swim series about the world’s most popular (and destructive) heavy metal band, Dethklok.
“Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels” (A&E 8 p.m.) Now who could we get to star in a new reality show about a famous aging rock star with a crazy family who secretly turns out to be a tame father figure? Ozzy Osbourne? Nah. Nobody’d believe that. How about Gene Simmons? Perfect!
“G-Phoria 2006” (G4 7 p.m.) G4’s annual videogame awards show returns for a fourth outing. Me, I’m rooting for Nintendogs all the way.
“101 More Things Removed From the Human Body” (TLC 8 p.m.) Keep in mind, this show is, by necessity, preceeded by “101 More Things Inserted Into the Human Body.” I suggest you watch it during dinner.