Alibi V.16 No.1 • Jan 4-10, 2007 

Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

Thursday 4

“Afro Samurai” (Spike 9 p.m.) Samuel L. Jackson, Kelly Hu and Ron Perlman provide the voices for this new anime series about a black samurai who goes on a mission to avenge his father’s death in futuristic feudal Japan.

Friday 5

“Starveillance” (E! 11:30 p.m.) From the creator of “Celebrity Deathmatch” comes this claymation puppet show poking sketch comedy fun at celebrites like Ashton and Demi, Tom and Katie and--of course--Britney and Kevin.

Saturday 6

Murder 101: College Can Be Murder (Hallmark 6 p.m.) If you buy all your murder mysteries at the supermarket and/or airport, then you’re probably going to love this quaint made-for-TV flick. Still-breathing Dick Van Dyke stars as an absentminded but brilliant criminology professor who solves crimes in his spare time.

Sunday 7

“Grease: You’re the One That I Want” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) The latest in TV’s unending string of singing/dancing reality competitions has a bunch of people competing to win the lead roles in a new Broadway production of Grease.

“The Apprentice” (KOB-4 8:30 p.m.) For the sixth season, Donald Trump hauls his dog-and-pony show to Los Angeles. ... Oh, and the losing team has to sleep in tents. Gives it that added “Survivor” vibe.

“The Surreal Life: Fame Games” (VH1 7 p.m.) “Surreal Life” faves (if I can use that word), including Vanilla Ice, Brigitte Nielsen, Emmanuel Lewis and Ron Jeremy, compete in games that test their “Hollywood survival skills.”

“Shooting Sizemore: Clean and Sobering” (VH1 8:30 p.m.) Who’s the latest drugged-out, washed-up celebrity to get his own reality show on VH1? Black Hawk Down star Tom Sizemore.

Monday 8

“Gay, Straight or Taken?” (Lifetime 6 p.m.) This seems like a mean twist on the reality/dating/gameshow genre. A gal goes on dates with three men. But only one is heterosexual and single. Can she guess correctly?

Tuesday 9

“33rd Annual People’s Choice Awards” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Finally, a place to reward that poor underperforming film Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.

Wednesday 10

“Armed & Famous” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Celebrities Erik Estrada, La Toya Jackson, Jack Osbourne, Jason “Wee-Man” Acuña and Trish Stratus undergo police training to become reserve police officers in Muncie, Ind. ... You know, perhaps a program to reintegrate D-list celebrities back into society would be less cruel than all these reality shows.