Alibi V.16 No.9 • March 1-7, 2007 

Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

Thursday 1

“Nashville Star” (USA 8 p.m.) Who will win this year’s fifth season finale of “Nashville Star”? ... Come to think of it, who the hell won seasons one through four?

Friday 2

“NAACP Image Awards” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) LL Cool J hosts. Why? Because ladies love Cool James.

Saturday 3

“Robin Hood” (BBC America 7 p.m.) The Beeb takes a decidedly modernist, dare I say, “WB”-style approach to the classic adventure tale. In other words, everyone in this 13-part swashbuckler--from Robin of Locksley to the Sheriff of Nottingham--is a young hunk.

The Invincible Iron Man (Cartoon Network 8 p.m.) Yes, True Believers, there’s a big-budget, live-action Iron Man movie starring Robert Downey, Jr. slated for release in 2008. If you can’t wait that long, feel free to slake your thirst for old Shell-Head with this animated movie based on the popular comic book.

Sunday 4

“Soundies: A Musical History With Michael Feinstein” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) Nobody these days remembers what “Soundies” were. They were three-minute, black-and-white films featuring big band, jazz and swing songs from the ’30s. Basically, they were the precursors to today’s music videos. They were cool. Don’t believe me? Check ’em out.

“The Tomb” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Major motion picture director James Cameron (Titanic) claims to have found the actual tomb of Jesus Christ. Actually, some archaeologist claims to have found it. Cameron just made this documentary about it. But you get the idea.

“The Winner” (KASA-2 7:30 p.m.) Rob Corddry from “The Daily Show” stars in this new sitcom about a super successful guy reminiscing about the time in his mid-30s when he was an unsuccessful slob living with his parents.

“Dice Undisputed” (VH1 8 p.m.) The Andrew Dice Clay reality show? Inevitable.

Monday 5

“Australia’s Next Top Model” (VH1 8 p.m.) I’m sure there are plenty of hot girls in Australia. The title “Australia’s Next Top Model” just seems kind of limiting, is all. What’s next, “Croatia’s Next Top Model”?

Tuesday 6

“The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) Do you know any unconvincing transsexuals, comfortable in trampy lingerie and unable to carry a tune? Have I got an opportunity for them!

Wednesday 7

“The Wedding Bells” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) This new comedy-drama features a trio of squabbling sisters (the Bell sisters, of course) who inherit their family’s wedding chapel in Las Vegas. Normally I steer clear of shows with a title that on-the-nose. But it is written by David E. Kelley (“Boston Legal,” “Ally McBeal”) and does star Teri Polo (Meet the Fockers), KaDee Strickland (The Grudge) and Sarah Jones (“Huff”). We’ll give it a shot.

“South Park” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) It’s a whole new season of “South Park.” Any bets on how long it will take to get to an Anna Nicole episode?