Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“World’s Funniest Commercials 2007” (TBS 7 p.m.) How funny are commercials? So damn funny that at least three of them have been made into sitcoms, including the inimitable “Hey, Vern, It’s Ernest!” series, “Baby Bob” from those creepy Quizno’s commercials and the upcoming “Cavemen” (formerly in the employ of Geico). Perhaps there’ll be some future superstars in tonight’s selection.
“Celebrity Rap Superstar” (MTV 11 p.m.) Superstar (ahem) mentors like Paul Wall and Lone Loc tutor celebrity (ahem) contestants like Internet gossip monger Perez Hilton in a reality rap show contest. ... You’re welcome, “The Soup.”
“Set for Life” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Used to be, every standup comedian who wandered into Hollywood got assigned a sitcom at the border crossing. Nowadays, they all get issued gameshows. Witness the current careers of Howie Mandel, Drew Carey, Bob Saget, Jeff Foxworthy and Jimmy Kimmel (who begins hosting this new, no-talent-needed gameshow tonight).
“Beach Volleyball: AVP Cincinnati Open” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Hey, volleyball in primetime for the first time since ... um, the last time somebody broadcast the Summer Olympics, I guess. Sounds like it could ... Oh, wait. It’s men’s volleyball. Never mind.
“The Hunt for Monster Sharks 2007” (Spike 8 p.m.) I appreciate everything you do to promote manliness on TV, Spike, I really do. But I think Discovery Channel has got this topic pretty well covered.
“Justin Timberlake: Futuresex/Loveshow” (HBO 10 p.m.) With the broadcast of this live 3-hour concert, we can officially consider the fact that sexy is back. ... As opposed to that 10- or 12-year, pre-Justin gap when sexy was totally unpopular.
“The Academy” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Having run the telenovela theme into the ground flaming, MyNetworkTV is trying its hand at being the “reality show” network. This new leadoff to the lineup follows real-life trainees through the 18-week gauntlet of Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department training.
“Jail” (KASY-50 8 p.m.) This one, on the other hand, is just “COPS” behind bars.
“Temptation” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) What would happen if you combined a quiz show with QVC? Well, you’d get this TV gameshow in which contestants answer pop culture questions, win money and then get tempted to waste said money on bargain-priced bling. ... Keep the money, you morons, you’ve got to pay taxes on that crap! Like 50 percent taxes! It’s not worth it!