“MLE Chowdown: The Turkey Bowl” (Spike 9 a.m.) Wanna feel better about the belly-busting feast you’re about to consume? Watch the world’s top eaters try to consume an entire turkey in 20 minutes.
“The Purina National Dog Show” (KOB-4 12 p.m.) Sure, I’m down with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (which starts on NBC at 9 a.m.). That’s a holiday tradition, by god. But when did the Kennel Club of Philadelphia’s annual event hosted by John O’Hurley become a yearly tradition? I mean, who in their right mind--ooh, look! Poodles!
“2007 World Music Awards” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Feel free to cheer on the world’s best-selling international artists--99 percent of which are American anyway.
“October Road” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Remember this soapy nighttime drama from last midseason? Probably not. Thanks to the writer’s strike, it’s back.
“Battlestar Galactica: BSG Minisodes” (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Sci-Fi is actually showing some episode of “Star Trek: Enterprise” in this timeslot, but hidden throughout (bastards) are more “minisodes” leading up to the premiere of tomorrow night’s “Battlestar Galactica” movie Razor. TiVo it and skip to the minisodes.
“COPS: Stupid Criminals” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Aren’t they all, “COPS”? Aren’t they all?
A Grandpa for Christmas (Hallmark 6 p.m.) Honestly, I’d rather have a PS3. But whatever. Santa never brings me what I ask for.
Hogfather (ION 5 p.m.) A motley group of wizards and others must find the Hogfather, a beloved man who delivers presents to children. Based on a novel by Terry Pratchett. From the two-part BBC miniseries. ... Surely something in that description was a typo.
“Notes from the Underbelly” (KOAT-7 8:30 p.m.) Another mediocre midseason replacement muscles its way back into the schedule.
Black Jack (Sci-Fi 9 p.m.) Ani-Monday premieres this 1996 animated film based on the manga by Osamu Tezuka (Astro-Boy). It’s about a mysterious, cynical surgeon-for-hire who travels the world battling evil--kinda like a weird sci-fi version of “House.”
“Bones” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) “Bones” investigates the death of a white-bearded man in a red suit whose body turns up in a sewer. Looks like somebody saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.
“Shrek the Halls” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Mike Myers and the rest of the original voicecast return for a short, seasonal spin-off of the popular computer-animated movie series.
“Christmas in Rockefeller Center” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Join Al Roker and the stars of your favorite NBC TV shows ... Well, the ones who are willing to cross the picket lines, anyway. ... Which, at this point, include ... Ah, hell, scratch all that. Join Al Roker, Celine Dion, Carrie Underwood and most likely somebody from the cast of High School Musical for the 74th annual lighting of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.