“MVP” (SoapNet 9 p.m.) Were you a big fan of the British soap “Footballers Wive$”? Do you wish the show had been about hockey instead of soccer? Well, this Canadian import is the answer to your prayers. It’s got lots of bitchy backstabbing and tons of Canadian dudes in their underwear.
Camp Rock (Disney 9 p.m.) If you’ve been obsessively counting the days until the release of the next High School Musical movie in your Hannah Montana diary, then this innocuous TV movie might serve as the methadone for your tween idol habit. The Jonas Brothers (OMG!!!) star in this Disney-approved musical about some well-scrubbed teens at a rock ’n’ roll summer camp.
“U.S. Olympic Gymnastics Trials” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Exciting sneak preview of this summer’s Olympic Games coverage, or just another lame summer Saturday night slot filler? You decide.
100 Million B.C. (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) A group of time-traveling scientists accidentally bring a dinosaur back to modern-day Los Angeles. ... Speaking of dinosaurs: It’s nice to see Christopher Atkins (The Blue Lagoon), Greg Evigan (“BJ and the Bear”) and Michael Gross (“Family Ties”) getting work.
“2008 Guys Choice Awards” (Spike 8 p.m.) Who cares about global warming when we’ve got really important questions plaguing all of mankind? Like, for example, who’s hotter: Scarlett Johansson or Jessica Biel?
“The Two Coreys” (A&E 8 p.m.) Yeah, so this reality series enters its second season, and we’re supposed to believe that Corey and Corey (Messrs. Haim and Feldman) are feuding and have to enter “couples” therapy. ... Whatever pays the bills, boys.
Shadow of the Moon (Discovery 7 p.m.) Hot on the heels of its eye-boggling, NASA-worshipping series “When We Left Earth,” Discovery airs Ron Howard’s recent high-def documentary take on the subject.
Hard Times at Douglass High: A No Child Left Behind Report Card (HBO 10 p.m.) So how is that “No Child Left Behind Thing” going? ... If you have to make a documentary about it, the answer’s probably, “Not so good.”
“Celebrity Family Feud” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Celebrities like Ice T, Larry the Cable Guy and Margaret Cho drag their families in front of the cameras to play the Feud. ... Which still doesn’t explain why Cho’s “family” includes a makeup artist and a 3’ 11” burlesque dancer.
“Wipeout” (KOAT-7 p.m.) Is it a remake or a rip-off of Spike TV’s Japanese game show “MXC” (originally known as “Takeshi’s Castle”)? Either way, we get people performing lots of stupid human tricks, many of which involve mud.
“I Survived a Japanese Game Show” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) This one cuts right to the chase, sending unsuspecting Americans to compete in assorted insane Japanese game shows.
“Rescue Me” (FX 11 p.m.) Don’t get too excited. The writers’ strike left this show unable to complete its season. Hence, we get a series of “minisodes”-
“The Baby Borrowers” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) You’ve already swapped wives, why not babies? ... Has Children, Youth and Families heard about this one?
“AFI Lifetime Achievement Award: A Tribute to Warren Beatty” (USA 7 p.m.) Joan Collins, Leslie Caron, Julie Christie, Liv Ullman, Bridgitte Bardot, Carly Simon, Elle MacPherson, Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, Candice Bergen, Cher, Britt Ekland, Stephanie Seymour, Annette Bening? Somebody ought to give the guy a lifetime achievement award.