“Survivor: Gabon” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) “Survivor” fires up its 17th season, this one set in the nation of Gabon. Step one: Explaining to viewers where the hell Gabon is.
“The Office” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) While it’s great to see a new season of “The Office” underway, I thought we all agreed last season that sitcoms should be half an hour long, not a whole hour.
“Grey’s Anatomy” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Speaking of too much of a good thing (sorta): Two-hour episodes of this show are also way too long to stomach. Find some more shows to fill up your schedule, networks!
“2008 Tour of Gymnastics Superstars” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Still suffering from Olympic gymnastics fever? MyNetworkTV sure hopes so.
“2008 Presidential Debate” (FOX/NBC/ABC/CBS 7 p.m.) Obama. McCain. A no-holds-barred presidential smackdown.
“WWE Smackdown” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) Speaking of smackdowns, The CW airs its last-ever episode of “WWE Smackdown.” It’ll probably be more exciting than the presidential debate, though no less scripted.
“Chris Rock: Shoot the Messenger” (HBO 11 p.m.) Chris Rock tours the world in his latest stand-up film.
“60 Minutes” (KRQE-13 6 p.m.) CBS starts its 41st season of “60 Minutes.” Man, that studio’s gotta be musty as hell by now.
“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) The 20th season begins, amazingly, not with the Halloween episode.
“New Kids On The Block: A Behind the Music Special” (VH1 8:30 p.m.) Yeah, what has Jonathan Knight been up to all these years? ... Working as a real estate agent in Massachusetts and suffering from panic attacks? Huh. Sorry I asked.
“Little Britain USA” (HBO 11:30 p.m.) Matt Lucas and David Walliams’ sketch comedy show “Little Britain” washes up on American shores.
“The Life and Times of Tim” (HBO 12 a.m.) Steve Dildarian, the guy behind Budweiser’s “Lizards” campaign (no, really), supplies this crudely animated, deadpan comedy about an everyday working stiff moving from one scandalous crisis to the next.
“Life” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) The Cathode Ray Gods command you to watch this show, people. It’s one of network TV’s best.
Taxi to the Dark Side (HBO 10 p.m.) HBO takes us inside secret Iraqi prisons to find out what sort of shenanigans our administration has been up to.
“Paris Hilton: My New BFF” (MTV 11 p.m.) Internet rumor says several of Paris’ dogs wandered off last week and were devoured by coyotes. Gee, I wonder how long her new “best friend forever” will last?
“Half Their Size: The People Magazine Weight Loss Challenge” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Because one show about people dieting isn’t nearly enough! Now you can watch two hours of “Biggest Loser: Families” on NBC and then flip over for an hour of this on ABC.
“Pushing Daisies” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) ABC’s cult gem offers up a second season, promising even more surrealistic delights than last season. Cathode Ray Gods say watch and learn.