Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Dear Food Network: Thanksgiving Leftovers” (Food Network 7 p.m.) Thanksgiving’s a week away and already we’re worried about what to do with the leftovers?
“Larry the Cable Guy’s Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza” (CMT 10 p.m.) Note: The word “star” is, in this instance, applicable only below the Mason-Dixon Line or in select NASCAR markets.
“The Clone Wars” (Cartoon Network 10 p.m.) Star Wars fans rejoice! Jar Jar Binks finally appears on “Clone Wars.”
Monster A Go-Go (TCM midnight) This sci-fi monster mess is notoriously known as one of the worst films ever made. It was originally shot in 1961 by Bill Rebane, who went on to make such non-classics and The Giant Spider Invasion. Bill ran out of money and in 1965, Herschell Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast) bought the footage. Lewis shot some more senseless scenes, threw in a voice-over and edited the whole shebang more or less at random. Needless to say, you shouldn’t miss it.
An Old-Fashioned Christmas (Hallmark 7 p.m.) Jacqueline Bisset stars in this TV tearjerker as a wealthy 1800s woman who tries to reunite with her estranged, widowed daughter and her four young grandkids. This doesn’t sound as sexy as The Deep.
“The 2008 American Music Awards” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Jimmy Kimmel hosts. The Pussycat Dolls perform. Who are you to resist?
24: Redemption (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Normally, Jack Bauer gets 24 hours in which to save the world. Thanks to the Writers Guild strike last summer, he’s stuck with only this two-hour movie in which to stop an African coup, rescue a bunch of kids, root out some sort of traitor and answer a crapload of cell phone calls.
“A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) TV pundit Stephen Colbert tries his hand at a spoofy Christmas special. Featuring guest appearances by Jon Stewart, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Feist, John Legend and Elvis Costello (who Colbert points out is just like Avril Lavigne, except “instead of skateboarding, he sings about people dying in shipyards”).
“Valkyrie: The Plot to Kill Hitler” (History 8 p.m.) Tom Cruise’s World War II film Valkyrie (hitting theaters on Dec. 26) gets deconstructed a full month early thanks to the fine folks at History Channel.
“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Like cranberry sauce, you may be getting tired of it, but it’s mandatory.
“The Shield” (FX 11 p.m.) The Michael Chiklis-led cop series wraps up its seven-season run tonight. Why do I get the feeling somebody’s gonna bite the bullet?
“2008 World Magic Awards” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Why not? Half the nominees are already wearing tuxes.
“Rosie Live” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Rosie O’Donnell is back on TV? And she’s hosting a variety show? What is this: 1958?
“The White House: Behind Closed Doors” (History 7 p.m.) Hey, if the house is Barackin’, don’t bother knockin’!