“Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” (KOB-4 9 a.m.) Let’s face it: The Idiot Box is mere background noise on the holidays. But at least you can start off the day with this 82nd annual holiday time-waster.
“Monk”/“Psych” (USA 7 p.m./8 p.m.) Now that all that Thanksgiving unpleasantness is behind us, USA gets right to the Christmas goods with a pair of holiday-themed episodes of its quirky detective series. First up, “Mr. Monk and the Miracle.” Next case, “Christmas Joy.”
Moonlight & Mistletoe (Hallmark 7 p.m.) A faux Santa and his daughter try to save their North Pole-themed theme park from greedy developers. Nothing says Christmas joy like a TV movie with Tom Arnold.
“Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show” (TBS 7 p.m.) Not content to let that other lesbian talk show host hog all the glory with her live TV variety show, Ellen Degeneres gathers up a bunch of singers, dancers and jugglers and hits the stage in Vegas.
“Sputnik Mania” (History 8 p.m.) History Channel digs into the pop culture mania that surrounded Russia’s 1957 launch of the Sputnik satellite--a phenomenon that didn’t end, for me anyway, until 1986 with the creation of British cyberpunk band Sigue Sigue Sputnik.
“42 Ways to Kill Hitler” (History 7 p.m.) Aside from the tried-and-true “time machine and a laser gun” method?
Britz (BBC America 7 p.m.) This two-part miniseries thriller follows two young British Muslims, a brother and sister, each pulled in radically different directions in post-9/11 England.
“Cheech & Chong: Roasted” (TBS 8 p.m.) TBS joins the cheap and easy celebrity roast bandwagon by poking fun at newly reunited stoner comedians Cheech & Chong.
“Britney: For the Record” (MTV 11 p.m.) In this one-hour documentary special, Britney Spears tells the world how hellish her life is now that she’s sober, well-groomed and has to show up to the MTV Music Awards on time.
“Steve Fossett: What Went Wrong?” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Too soon? No? OK, then how did this rich aviator end up eating mountaintop in California?
“2008 World Music Awards” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Don’t worry, xenophobes; scheduled performers Beyoncé, Kid Rock and Alicia Keys are on hand to prove that unless it’s American world music, it ain’t crap.
“Shatner’s Raw Nerve” (Biography 8 p.m.) Ubiquitous William Shatner kicks off his new chat show with a major “get”--actress Valerie Bertinelli, who starred in “One Day at a Time” back in 1975 and now does diet food commercials.
“Christmas at Rockefeller Center 2008” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) That big tree ain’t gonna light itself.
“Secret Millionaire” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Rich people pretend to volunteer for charitable organizations and then get out of it after a day or two by handing over a bunch of money. How is this different from their everyday reality?
“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) I’ll say this for Victoria’s Secret: They know how to stuff a stocking.