“Parks and Recreation” (KOB-4 7:30 p.m.) Some wise NBC executive finally gave Amy Poehler (“Saturday Night Live,” Baby Mama) her own show—which does for local government what “The Office” did for paper manufacturing.
“Harper’s Island” (KRQE-13 9:01 p.m.) CBS insists that this Ten Little Indians-meets-“Twin Peaks” murder mystery about a group of people who return to their hometown for a wedding, only to be picked off one-by-one by an unknown killer, is a one-season-only experiment. Once it’s over, it’s over. Unless it’s canceled before then.
“Kröd Mändoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) This ridiculous fantasy spoof freely mixes “Hercules”/
“Patton 360” (History 7 p.m.) After briefly drifting away to other time periods, History Channel comes running back to World War II with this “all things General Patton”-related series.
“Groomer Has It” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) The second season starts off with ... wait a minute. There’s a second season?
Nora Roberts’ Tribute (Lifetime 7 p.m.) The good thing about showing a new Nora Roberts romance every damn week on Lifetime is that it will take the network nearly four years before it runs out of source material. ... And that’s only if she stops writing new stuff.
Thor: Hammer of the Gods (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Zachery Ty Bryan, the mouthy little kid from “Home Improvement,” is Thor. ... Yeah, sure he is.
“The World’s Funniest Office Commercials” (TBS 9 p.m.) The world’s funniest what?
“Doing Da Vinci” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Surely I’m not the only one who thinks that’s a really bad title for a porn movie.
“The Alaska Experiment” (Discovery 8 p.m.) It’s a new season and that means a whole new crop of citified morons steadily losing body mass as they try to survive winter in the frozen north.
The Onion Movie (G4 9 p.m.) After sitting on a studio shelf for six years, the spoofy newspaper’s first feature film finally sees the light of day on basic cable.
“A-List Awards” (Bravo 8 p.m.) Bravo’s obsessively detailed awards show (Best A-List Celebrity Restauranteur, Best A-List Abs) returns with D-list joke dispenser Kathy Griffin at the helm.
“The Cougar” (TV Land 8 p.m.) Yeah, I’m surprised it took someone this long to spin this worn-out meme into a reality dating show, too.
“Pitchmen” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Frankly, it’s about time late-night infomercial guys like Billy Mays (OxiClean) and Anthony “Sully” Sullivan (Swivel Sweeper) got their own docu-reality series. I just wonder if Vince Shlomi (ShamWow) will stop by. Probably not. He’s in jail for beating up a hooker in South Beach. ... No, really.