Week in Sloth
The Week in Sloth
“Into the Pride” (Animal Planet 6 p.m.) Lions get the “Meerkat Manor” treatment.
“Neil Diamond—Hot August Night: NYC” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Sorry, but even after the Urge Overkill cover of “Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon” in Pulp Fiction and that Johnny Cash-style makeover Rick Rubin gave him a few years back, I still can’t see Neil Diamond as anything other than a ’70s cheesemonger. But if you wanna hear “Cracklin’ Rosie” again, enjoy!
“Woodstock: Then and Now” (VH1 7 p.m.) It’s the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, don’t you know? VH1 compares and contrasts.
“Chefography” (Food Network 7 p.m.) Food Network kicks off its new show by recounting the life story of Guy Fieri. ... Um, he won “The Next Food Network Star” a couple years ago, and now he’s the spokesperson for T.G.I. Friday’s. What more do you need to know?
“2 Months, $2 Million” (G4 7 p.m.) Four world-champion Internet poker players pool their resources to rent a house in Las Vegas and spend two months gambling away their fortunes in real life in this new docu-reality show.
“Mad Men” (AMC 8 p.m.) Season 3 launches tonight. Be there, or be Squaresville.
“My Antonio” (VH1 8 p.m.) Thirteen women arrive in Hawaii with hopes of winning the heart of actor Antonio Sabàto Jr. ... It just ... it never ends, does it?
“Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami” (E! 10 p.m.) Thank god somebody finally wised up and gave Kourtney and Khloe their own reality show spin-off, because it’s been clear to me for ages who the real talentless celebutards behind “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” are.
“Glenn Martin, DDS” (Nickelodeon 6 p.m.) It’s like “The Great American Road Trip,” only funnier. And with stop-motion-animated puppets.
“Woodstock: Now & Then” (History 7 p.m.) It’s the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, don’t you know? Unlike VH1, History Channel contrasts & compares.
“Hoarders” (A&E 8 p.m.) OK, so I’m forced to admit a sick fascination with this new documentary series about people who obsessively (and I mean obsessively) collect crap like ... well, sometimes literal crap.
“Shaq Vs.” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Remember last week when Shaquille O’Neal inexplicably started calling out David Beckham, boasting about his soccer-playing skills? Yup, just a lame publicity stunt for his new TV show. Tonight, he plays football against Ben Roethlisberger.
“House of Jazmin” (MTV 11:30 p.m.) I’ve never heard of fashion designer Jazmin Whitley and don’t know a thing about the woman, but if TV has taught me anything, it’s that reality show stars are whiny, overprivileged idiots who get drunk a lot, make out with strangers and scream at their assistants for no reason. Welcome to the club, Jazmin.
“Bobb’e Says” (Cartoon Network 9 p.m.) Hey, that loudmouthed kid from Role Models got his own TV show. Good for him.
Led Zeppelin: The Song Remains the Same (1976) at KiMo Theatre
The members of Led Zeppelin are called back from vacation by manager Peter Grant to play Madison Square Garden. Part of the Rock 'n Roll on Film series.
Heartbreak Ridge (1986) at KiMo Theatre
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